acting on impulse

I was talking to a friend yesterday of the importance of 'acting on impulse'. Please note this is not meant as 'act impulsively', i.e. without thought - and is nothing to do with a certain body spray!!

It's about those times we have a thought, prompting or conviction that we should do something. Like write a letter of encouragement. Phone someone to see if they're all right. Follow up on something. Pursue a certain avenue. Push a certain door.

How often I have good impulses - and they are such good intentions...but sadly, nothing more. My friend told me about her old teacher - how he would say do it while you've got the enthusiasm. I can identify with this. How often do we feel profoundly moved by something but put off praying about it or responding to it? How often do we assume we will 'get round to it' at a later time? We assume the fruit will remain ripe, to use an analogy - not realising that it will, eventually, get out of date and even go off. Our enthusiasm, our passion, vanishes. The zest, the colour, the flavour of the moment disappears. And even more tragically, sometimes we don't even notice it's gone.

It sends a surge of unhappy comprehension through me to think of how many times I have made this mistake. Delaying and procrastinating. Assuming that it will happen...later. Intending, but then...forgetting. The train has left the station, and I don't even remember the importance of getting on it.

We all do it. So this is my challenge - to myself, and to any who identify with what I am talking about.

Act on impulse. Write that letter. Make that phone call. Be the encourager, the do-er, the ambassador. Don't let your passion - or compassion - have time to fade. Hold onto those things that really matter - and don't let them go.

in my element

Am in one of my uber-determined moods, which usually bodes well - courage comes more easily, things are more likely to be achieved, hiccups are more manageable.

I've been doing writing-related work all morning, and am still enjoying the thrill of having it suddenly become a major part of life again. I feel utterly at home, scribbling, planning, researching. I even phoned a magazine this morning; at least I tried to - they were having problems getting used to a new switchboard and I accidentally got put through to a different magazine (under the same company). This caused much amusement all round, but resulted in my feeling much more relaxed about calling again. That's what happened when I phoned World Vision about Fragile World, if I remember. Make me laugh, and any tension melts away.

So I intend to pepper my days with smiles and in-jokes, even if I'm the only one who hears them. A light hearted touch at life with a good dose of appropriate sensitivity seems to result in constructive daily writing. It underlines this that I actually received a rejection this morning, but did not let it throw me. I merely altered my plan of action over that particular piece of work.

Hope - that is what I am still experiencing, sometimes almost torrential. When you have struggled with feeling hopeless for extended amounts of time, weeks, months, even years, it catches your breath. And it brings forth an automatic prayer of thanks.

So there you are - hope and laughter - together they bring that much needed smile to spur me on through the day.

on a day of remembering

Remembrance Sunday, 2009

giver of hope,
walk among those
who see no possibility
of a life unscarred by violence

bringer of light
sit down beside those
who see only darkness
and have barely a candle flame

bestower of love
carry the ones
who can no longer walk
without stumbling over grief

sender of peace
come to those
who walk continually
on the shards of war
that litter our world

give hope, bring light, bestow love victorious

send peace
O God of peace,
on this our day of remembrance.

***

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

- Lawrence Binyon, For the Fallen

in our landscape

When we were in Norfolk earlier this year, we went for a walk on Blakeney Point. It was there I was caught by a dandelion-coated landscape, like golden freckles on a gloomy day. It reminded me of the things that we consider a nuisance, or out of place, in our gardens (and our lives), but in the right setting have their own unique beauty.

We are all unique, with our own talents and abilities, positives and negatives, successes and shortcomings. Sometimes, we can feel out of place, where expectations of us do not tally with who we are, where our values seem alien, where we simply cannot really bloom. We start comparing ourselves with others, thinking if only we were the same size, shape, or personalities, if only we had their abilities, their confidence to do certain things, their beauty, their power. We feel limp and unsure. We feel like flowers in the wrong place.

But just because we do not match our current landscape does not mean we are not beautifully made. I always say that if God wanted you to be somebody else, he would have made you somebody else! Perhaps we don’t fit in the way we would like – or we feel at home in a different setting than the one paraded as perfect by our peers. But if we allow ourselves to be shaped in the way God wants, not the way other people think - or even we ourselves think – we can grow and glow, lighting up our corner of a difficult world.

alive

Sometimes...I am merely searching for words. Anything to capture the colour of living, the breathtaking nature of existence. Sometimes I rise above the here and now, the physical weariness, the aching back from a long day...and I breathe in living.

It is in my ears and eyes, even on my tongue, taste buds tingling at being alive. The momentous nature of it...the incredible ability to touch and to feel...and to think about the touch and the feeling. To ponder aloud and silently the brush that painted today, and still waits to colour tomorrow.

To love.

To breathe.

To be the only person who is me myself.

To be alive.

a little exploring...

Today I explored the central library. I'd only been to the smaller, local ones before so it was good to find somewhere bigger. Not having grown up very near a city, the country girl in me thought it was enormous! Although the market town near the village I grew up did have a reasonably large library, now I think about it. I think it's because this one's in the town Guildhall and everything is very open plan - over three floors - which gives a feeling of space. It's also very light, with light-reflecting colours adding to the sensation.

I found myself a booth - ooh! a booth! - and examined the magazines available, taking a few notes. I had my current modules from the Writers' Bureau with me, but didn't end up looking at them there. I found the latest edition of the Writers' Forum magazine and spent some time browsing through that in my zone of peace. Apart from that 10 minutes where someone was drilling the other side of the wall! Thankfully they didn't keep at it for long.

There was a good feeling about the place and everyone seemed very cheerful - plus a coffee shop in the same place. I sat in there during what would be my normal 'rest stop 1' and gazed out of the window at the fountain and bronzing trees. A lady came up and said 'would you like the newspaper dear?' I wasn't really bothered, but it was sweet she had asked.

I walked back down towards the bus stop, pondering the fact I've lived in the area 5 years but never been in the main central library before. We think of 'exploring' as something dramatic and farflung - 'deepest, darkest Peru', to use a cliche - but what do we forget to explore in our own local area? How many things have we simply discounted because we haven't realised they were even there?

Perhaps we should make exploring a weekly, even daily habit. Finding the new, in the midst of the familiar.

what inspires you?

Wednesday evenings I have put aside for writing, although I have to say I am getting tired now and the evening has barely started. Perhaps I'm still in British Summer Time - that's probably true.

I've been thinking of the need for inspiration, which led me to the question: what inspires me?

Let's see...

nature sky God friends love animals books quietness laughter anecdotes dreams family children rockpools words colours waterfalls hope creativity art trees light dark thoughts boats earth discussion humour ocean seasons faith doubt touch watermelon photographs birds air travel flowers mountains sight music rivers taste butterflies

I could go on..let's be inspired.

What inspires you?