and to think

Am starting a new post, to break up the waffle (if that is possible; I am a natural waffler).

Yesterday was the first Sunday our church were meeting in a local school building. We are having various much needed renovations done in the main church building - making it more community friendly, and improving disabled access, while repairing various cracks and leaks at the same time! It's one of those buildings where bits have been added at different times.

Anyway, I almost didn't go, but wanted to since it is within walking distance - in theory I could leave after my morning 'rest' and arrive half an hour later but still get to see people and feel a part of things. I'm sick of feeling so isolated. This time however I left in time for the whole service, since I wasn't sure where I was going and didn't want to be aimlessly wandering round the building wondering how on earth to get in. In the end I prayed that God would 'stand beside me and give me strength' so that I could go - and enjoy it.

I skipped my rest, but am so very glad I did. The place was buzzing. I felt the 'buzz' factor very much - partly because there was a little something 'extra' - everyone was curious and interested at meeting somewhere new - and also simply because I don't get much feeling 'part of the crowd' at the moment - I see people individually but forgot how nice it was to be with lots of people in one place for one purpose. It was a short service, Mother's Day (I got given two daffodils despite not being a mum, which was sweet) and also just to let people have a look round and get their bearings.

Lots of people were pleased to see me - I kept going from person to person and enjoyed the feeling of being sociable. I felt more 'me' than I had in a long time. More confident, strangely, than I usually do - as if aspects of my personality that had been hiding away decided to come out and play for a while. I found myself being extremely 'chipper' - for want of a better word!
I lasted the whole time with very little tiredness and felt that my prayer had been answered - so often I am drained after very little; it was wonderful to be given the strength to enjoy part of my life that I have missed. I felt so happy.

And to think I nearly didn't go!