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Monday 23 February 2009

shafts of light


To me, it seems, this is what hope looks like. Am struggling a little with feeling so grotty all the time; trying to be content with my circumstances and sometimes succeeding...sometimes, not. It becomes difficult, after such a long time, to imagine things will get better - that I will get better. I don't mean that in a self-pitying way but simply that, after struggling with this for over half my life, it naturally becomes harder to imagine ever being without it. I would be happy with improvement, not cure. I would be happy to be in a 'good patch' not a bad one. Stamp this picture on my heart and let it grow...to see it in the distance would be enough.

Today: 3/10, high

8 comments:

LA said...

Been struggling also. My hope came via snowdrops yesterday...!

Praying for you lucy...your name means light too...

Anonymous said...

There's a series of paintings done in 1840 by American painter Thomas Cole called "The Voyage of Life." The originals are in the National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC, which Mike and I visit on occasion. You can find it on Wikipedia under "The Voyage of Life." It's an interpretation of what we go through in life, from a fantastic yet decidedly religious perspective. While my favorite one is the second in the series ("Youth"), the third and fourth ones - "Manhood" and "Old Age" remind me of what you're going through. I like to visit the art gallery specifically to see these paintings to remind me that life can be hard, but there is hope waiting at the end of the day. Of course, one would hope to see that light during one's lifetime and not have to wait until the moment we pass, but it still gives me some inspiration, anyway.

((Hugs)) (And don't worry - with your photographic ability, I don't think you'll have to worry at all about thinking you've made a mistake with that camera! :-))

CC said...

Hugs! This is a great picture to stamp on your heart.

Anonymous said...

Here's to lots of good patches to come :) That's a lovely picture to keep with you.

Anonymous said...

RYC: Yes, light comes with shadows, too. Good painters (and good photographers, too, like you) remind us of that.

Anonymous said...

Lucy, have you ever read any of Amy Carmichael's books. Her struggle with pain on a daily basis has been so motivating to me. I hope to be like her when I grow up. :)

Anonymous said...

what a great post - thank you for sharing your process too - reminds me some of romans 7 but also i think it's just human nature. we get used to our struggle as part of our identity, i have a similar thing, there's a part of me that has been my identity for so long it's hard to shake it off and see my new identity apart from it. but it's part of the process of the new life and part of walking in faith when it's not how i feel.

that made no sense without being specific so sorry but i just know what you're saying!

and i love the end of this post: Stamp this picture on my heart and let it grow...

HE will... and you will see it close up soon!

lynn said...

((((( Lucy hug )))))

"The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people."- Richard Foster