what if...?

There are so many times I think

- what if?

what if I did this...or that

what if I tried these ideas...or those

what if I wrote everything...or something

what if I allowed myself to dream?

but then I pause to think

and I flounder, or I get caught up

in fiddle faddle

or twiddle twaddle

and forget to do this...or that

forget to try these ideas...or those

neglect to write something... or everything

and carelessly shrug off my dreaming

I waste time, energy, on thoughtless moments

I lose heart so easily,

and instead of taking something up,

I put it down

and then can't remember where it is,

or even what it was in the first place.

I turn inward, probing as if at an aching tooth,

pondering at my abilities...or inabilities

doubting that from this shell

anything lasting could come

I tell myself

I cannot do this...or that

I dare not try these ideas...or those

I cannot write something...or anything

I will not believe in my dreams

and I drop the memory

of a moment of passion...or compassion

and retreat, having

done none of it.

but...what if

I did?

and...what if

in some small way

it changed the world?