natural therapy

Well, what happened to last week? I was here, I simply didn't write anything: quite busy with various things, and when I had a bit of free time my brain had turned mush-like, which is not conducive to writing. Possibly it would have got into gear if I'd written a sentence or two, but never mind.

We celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary last week. Had a meal out and went out to an RSPB nature reserve on Andy's day off, which was very nice. So many butterflies! Am rather fond of butterflies.

Had splintering-oh-good-grief-horrible headache last night. Did not go to church this morning but planning on going this evening for the communion service. Had an hour this afternoon sitting in the sunshine in the garden (with hat and sunblock!) which was lovely and relaxing...speaking of butterflies, there was a Painted Lady lounging on the buddhleia next to me, absolutely beautiful. Have not seen one since the throng that came through a few weeks back (see here). Also noted the honey bees accompanying it - glad of that due to the plight of the honey bee. Bumbles everywhere, as always in our buzz-friendly garden!!

The goldfinches occasionally on feeder while I was out there - the female is very unsure and flies off the minute she sees me, but he is beginning to tolerate me. Impressed I was close enough to tell them apart! (There is another 'set' of goldfinches in the neighbourhood - had the two fledglings sitting cheeping on the washing line last weekend - very cute!) Mr Blackbird has reappeared - seemed to disappear while we were on holiday, but discovered him sheltering in the forsythia from the rain yesterday. Threw him some raisins. On discovering 'normal service' has resumed, he's been dropping in all day today with his plaintive look. Even more plaintive as he is mid-moult and rather raggedy!

Still struggling with neck and head problems, but nature was very therapeutic for me this afternoon. Charlie in uber-relaxed state, happy to receive some attention.

Craft group tomorrow morning...have made a poster for them in style of scrapbook page, hope they like it...

the fact of the matter

the fact of the matter is
I'm a work in progress

every so often I remember
those who are far worse off than I am
and keep things all
in their proper perspective
every so often

sometimes I ignore
the impulse to strike out
in my defence, remaining
wisely silent and calm
sometimes

from time to time, I let go
of the need for the approval
of others, and focus instead
on the One who truly matters
from time to time

once in a while, I have
an utterly generous moment,
and all I can think of
is giving to another
once in a while

occasionally, I take time
to stop, reflect, and be thankful
for all that I've been given,
rather than all I think I lack
occasionally

every now and then, I can almost
touch the beautiful proximity
of my creator, sensing
his extravagant love
every now and then

the fact of the matter is
I'm a work in progress




***

The last few days, the air outside the front door has been full of butterflies, mainly Painted Ladies, coming through on the wave of warmer weather. Summer, after politely waiting in the wings while we all cooed with delight at Spring, is emerging. When I walked out with my camera this morning, the heat of the sun instantly hit me - making me realise I was wearing the wrong clothes.

Do you ever get the feeling you are wearing the wrong clothes? I feel it, when I end up being all the things I hate. When I'm irritable, impatient, selfish, consumed with a desire to please everyone, when all I can see is me and I forget the needs of everyone else. There's an awareness niggling at the edge of my mind, knowing, somehow, that I'm wearing the wrong clothes. And as soon as I turn to seek God's face, and feel his warmth, it becomes even more obvious.


My identity is in Jesus Christ, so when I behave in a way contrary to that lifestyle, I am acting outside of my true identity. I'm growing into it, I suppose you could say, but there are times I need to draw back and think - no, wait. I don't have to respond to this situation like this. With God's help, I can win over my natural reflexes (forces of habit, a lot of them). Instead of letting my insecurities take the reins, I can choose to dwell on the security of being 'in Christ', getting things in perspective, choosing to be wise.
I wear the wrong clothes a lot of the time. But in Colossians we are told:
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14)

Those are the things we should be wearing. I am a work in progress. I'm not going to get it right all the time. But I would like to do it a little more frequently than I do now. I want to see the transformation of my heart and mind. So that one day I will be as beautifully clothed as those butterflies, after their own amazing metamorphosis. I want to be who I was made to be.