What are you taking up for Lent?

Lent begins next week. Sometimes I miss the beginning entirely, swamped by 'things' and trivialities. I want to mark it, observe it, but I easily forget it. As for giving things up -well, sometimes I do, but not always. I feel it can become a bit too automatic. Lent = giving something up. I always want to think about the why - or the because. If I give something up 'because it's Lent' it can feel somewhat dreary and unimpressive. I want to be reminded of the greater why, the greater because. I want to think about journey, about discipleship, about re-focusing my mind.

But sometimes I think I need to set myself the opposite challenge - not to give something up but to take something up. To introduce a new discipline, a new way of constructing my days, a new way of thinking about things. This could be exploring other traditions - looking at the 'liturgy of the hours', marking time with prayer and reflection. It could be simply determining to create space for something I feel I am neglecting - and trying to foster and encourage a new spirituality, a new focus. And if I do give something up - who benefits?

I suspect that many of us in giving up something are doing it for our own benefit. Lent becomes a useful tool, a backdrop, for something we want to deal with anyway. It gives us an added edge, a more enforced discipline. But what do we do with the time we save by giving up, say, computer games? Or the money we save by not buying chocolate? (Two fairly common examples). Do we simply fritter away the saved time or money on other things, other treats? Or do we think - i want to take the me-ness out of this and add other-ness, God-ness even.



Water Aid have been running a Lent campaign where they suggest that people get together and save up 'jars of change' - the money they would have been spending on whatever it is they've given up. This money goes towards safe and accessible water for the world's communities.  Their website has plenty of resources available to use.


What about time? Time saved to be spent discovering more and different ways of reading the bible, trying to engage with it. This can be individual, but doing it together can really help inspire and challenge us. What about taking a look at the Biblefresh initiative?

Biblefresh is a movement of churches, agencies, organisations, colleges and festivals which has a vision to reignite and re-enthuse the church in its passion for the Bible. For many in our churches the Bible has become tedious and toxic rather treasured, trusted and true. The aim of the Biblefresh initiative is to encourage a greater confidence and passion for Scripture across the Church.

- http://www.biblefresh.com/get-involved

So, am I giving anything up? As I'm already cutting out dairy and yeast from my diet, this kind of giving up is a little over familiar at the moment.  I expect I will try and give up some time wasting elements in my life, but I want to be able to use that 'extra' time wisely and well.

So for that reason I am asking myself this question:

What are you taking up for Lent?

***

Update: for some reason my reader comments had been disallowed for this post.  Please feel free to make up for it! 

dancing partners

Who is your most regular dancing partner?

I had an inherent shyness as a child which morphed into sheer self-consciousness as a teen. I masked it by a kind of deliberate silliness, directing attention away from myself and onto another, not entirely real, persona. So much of the time I was dancing with fear. These days I have a more balanced approach to dealing with such twinges of shyness and self-consciousness, something more of a realistic approach to dealing with fears and anxieties – but they are not entirely absent; I have to swallow hard and overcome them. Sometimes it is very difficult. (It’s hard to explain to someone who has never struggled with the feeling of self-consciousness – that literal shrinking inside of you, begging to be elsewhere).

We all have factors in our lives which we deal with regularly. Things which lead us on a dance we do not like, filling up our dance cards until there is simply no room for anyone else. These factors can be anything: fear, worry, bitterness, anger, addiction, or very specific things that only we (& God) know about. They take their toll on us. I have learned from my experience with Chronic Fatigue that even confidence requires energy – on a physically bad day, overcoming that innate self-consciousness is much, much harder. And tiredness, of course, makes us more susceptible to these things – it makes me more susceptible to fear’s advances. And these advances, of course, tire me further.

It’s good to have a realistic view of these things in our lives, to acknowledge their presence – to note what inflames them or makes them more difficult to overcome. In this way we can learn to manage our ‘dance card’ better. Personally, I want to dance a different dance.

I want love to be my constant interrupter:
can I cut in?

For love is the nemesis of fear, overcoming those ‘twinges’ with a greater reality. In its true form, love is stronger, bigger, more powerful. I need no longer feel self-conscious because I am simply not dwelling on myself at all. I wish to reach the point when I am compelled to dance only by the love of Christ, nothing less.

I’m longing for the day when all the negative things inside me are ejected from the dance floor forever. When I will no longer know in part, but know fully the one who loves me and leads me on the greatest dance of all. When everything falls into it’s rightful place, placed into perfect perspective.

And I shall dance and dance and dance…
…and never, ever, tire.

***

Picture credit: 'Dance at Bougival' by Pierre-Auguste Renoir (1841-1919), Public Domain image

the fact of the matter

the fact of the matter is
I'm a work in progress

every so often I remember
those who are far worse off than I am
and keep things all
in their proper perspective
every so often

sometimes I ignore
the impulse to strike out
in my defence, remaining
wisely silent and calm
sometimes

from time to time, I let go
of the need for the approval
of others, and focus instead
on the One who truly matters
from time to time

once in a while, I have
an utterly generous moment,
and all I can think of
is giving to another
once in a while

occasionally, I take time
to stop, reflect, and be thankful
for all that I've been given,
rather than all I think I lack
occasionally

every now and then, I can almost
touch the beautiful proximity
of my creator, sensing
his extravagant love
every now and then

the fact of the matter is
I'm a work in progress




***

The last few days, the air outside the front door has been full of butterflies, mainly Painted Ladies, coming through on the wave of warmer weather. Summer, after politely waiting in the wings while we all cooed with delight at Spring, is emerging. When I walked out with my camera this morning, the heat of the sun instantly hit me - making me realise I was wearing the wrong clothes.

Do you ever get the feeling you are wearing the wrong clothes? I feel it, when I end up being all the things I hate. When I'm irritable, impatient, selfish, consumed with a desire to please everyone, when all I can see is me and I forget the needs of everyone else. There's an awareness niggling at the edge of my mind, knowing, somehow, that I'm wearing the wrong clothes. And as soon as I turn to seek God's face, and feel his warmth, it becomes even more obvious.


My identity is in Jesus Christ, so when I behave in a way contrary to that lifestyle, I am acting outside of my true identity. I'm growing into it, I suppose you could say, but there are times I need to draw back and think - no, wait. I don't have to respond to this situation like this. With God's help, I can win over my natural reflexes (forces of habit, a lot of them). Instead of letting my insecurities take the reins, I can choose to dwell on the security of being 'in Christ', getting things in perspective, choosing to be wise.
I wear the wrong clothes a lot of the time. But in Colossians we are told:
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14)

Those are the things we should be wearing. I am a work in progress. I'm not going to get it right all the time. But I would like to do it a little more frequently than I do now. I want to see the transformation of my heart and mind. So that one day I will be as beautifully clothed as those butterflies, after their own amazing metamorphosis. I want to be who I was made to be.