the tendency to slide...

Battling weariness these past couple of days.  As I write this, the anti virus software has decided to run a full system scan, which I've minimised.  It's running in the background, slowing things down.  Perhaps I am running a full system scan.  Now there's a thought.  I hope it finishes soon and manages to fix any problems!

Unfortunately this has resulted in some brain fog, and a limited ability to write.  This morning I was at the eye clinic at the hospital, which sucked out most of the morning and pretty much all of my energy with it.  I think these appointments will soon come to an end however - they'll be making up my new glasses soon and have decided my eyes are doing very well.  The orthoptist did her usual here-there-everywhere tests to work my eyes as hard as possible; apparently the results were very satisfactory.  My eyes naturally want to slide inwards; we're trying to train them to hold themselves straight, without surgical intervention.


This is aided by the prism in my glasses, but I've also been doing exercises to strengthen the muscles of my eyes, which make them do what they don't want to - go the other way.  It reminds me in a very physical sense of the hard work required to reverse a habit.


Our reflexes want to react in one way, but we want them to behave differently.  We need things to help us change, but we also need to make an effort to re-train ourselves.  Re-training can be painful and difficult.  But it makes a difference.  We are less likely to slide into our old routines.

I've realised my eyes are stronger for it.  They are less likely to look inwards, more likely to look straight  ahead.

Just as they should.


Glasses image from stock.xchng

Note: Those who prefer to use facebook to keep up with blog posts can now 'like' this blog, on the righthand sidebar.

hand holding is underrated

If you're squeamish you may need not to read this post.

Had a biopsy on that little triangle of skin in the corner of my eye on Friday.  It's just like a freckle, really, but they wanted to check it out.  Suffice to say it was a horrible experience.  Once you've had your eye washed out with cleaning fluid and are lying blinking and streaming, with a bright light added to the equation, that's when they stick a needle in your eye.  Well, that little corner piece of skin, anyway.  It was that part (the local anaesthetic) that was most misery-ating (I know, not a word, but it is in my disctionary).  The stinging pain in the corner of the eye is not one you can remove yourself from and I'm afraid I don't even know if my eye was merely watering profusely or I was actually crying.

It's the first time I've had a surgeon wipe away my tears.

They were very nice, although I did get a premonitory twinge when the nurse stationed herself ready to hold my hand.  Hand holding is underrated; I was very glad to cling to her.

I was also given a cup of tea afterwards.  Did I look that bad?

Now I'm praying that it comes back clear so I don't have to go through it again.

As usual in having an experience like that I can't help but be reminded of those who have to have unpleasant procedures like this on a frequent basis. Er.  Almost wrote that it was an eye-opening experience, with no intentional pun.  Ugh.

But you get the point.

Ack.

Am stopping now.

tomorrow

I've kept meaning to mention that my dad is having a hip replacement tomorrow, so any prayers for him (& my mum) would be appreciated. It was a cancellation so was very short notice - they only found out on Wednesday. He had the other one done not so long ago, relatively speaking, and that worked out fine, but it always feels strange to me when a parent is in hospital - there is an anxiety underneath. I know he didn't like staying in hospital last time so please pray there aren't any complications and that he sleeps well during the nights on the ward.