the Passion on screen

Browsing through the Radio Times, there doesn't seem to be much Easter-oriented religious programming on in Holy Week. Bar the Greatest Story Ever Told on Channel 4 on Good Friday, the only other thing I could make out was last year's The Passion, from the BBC, being aired in full on BBC4 on Wednesday (I talked a little bit about it last year, search under label 'Easter').

(There is also a programme on Handel's Messiah on Good Friday, but i get the impression it is more about the composer than the subject matter - perhaps I'm wrong.)

This seems ironic to me as Good Friday's spread in RT actually illustrates the events of the "original" Good Friday, crosses at the top, Jesus' followers one side and Roman soldiers the other. But actually finding something relating to it is difficult. Usually there is more relevant programming than this.

Speaking of the Passion, I sat down to watch Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ not that long ago. I know some find it a profound reminder of what happened to Jesus (and I respect that), but for me I'm afraid it was a turn off. The flogging scene was so much focused on the actual gore that I was hiding behind a cushion, not from distress at what was happening to Jesus but because I was totally 'grossed out' for want of a better phrase - seeing skin being ripped off with nails from the lashes was just too much.

My reaction was akin to someone squeamish turning away from a Casualty operation scene than it was to being moved by the events of that day. In the end I was forced to fast forward it to the crucifixion, where I watched Mary kiss Jesus' toes and come away with a mouth covered in blood (ugh), before going on, finally, to the resurrection. By this point I was in such a grossed-out state that it did not have much effect for me.

For me, this was the first portrayal of the crucifixion and previous events that hasn't brought me to tears in some time, because I was so grossed out by the gore, with an underlying awareness of the 'special effects' being used to their utmost (e.g. skin being ripped off).

In the light of the chunk of the film taken up by the flogging - initially I managed to watch but after a while started wondering when it would be over, I found myself quite unmoved in the traditional sense. I think it was because it focused on the Passion itself rather than any previous story about Jesus there wasn't time to build up love and sympathy for the character (this purely an observation of the focus of the film rather than my own faith). And then there was this overload of gore, which for me overcast everything else.

Like I said, I know there are those who are moved by this film, and I don't want to undermine this. Neither do I want to deny the awful suffering of Jesus. I simply found the visuals too gory and gross to actually derive any meaning from it. I don't think I am super-super squeamish (although I probably get more so as I get older), but this was just too much for too long for me. And I watched it while Andy was out, so I was dealing with it by myself.

I'd be interested in hearing anybody else's thoughts.


***
Oh, a related question that I'm always thinking whenever watching any on screen recount of the story of Jesus. Why does he always have to be white?!! Most likely he was dark skinned, neither black nor white (very fitting, in fact). It may have been the way he was portrayed in medieval art (with the additional bizarrity¹ of blond hair, blue eyes, halo etc) but can we finally see a physically realistic Jesus?

¹ Not officially a word, as far as I know.

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Today: 3-4/10, medium high

something you can do

Have just watched 'Blood Diamond' (set in the Sierra Leone civil war of 1999). In my present (and hopefully permanent) state of mind I was very disturbed by it, for no longer can I see these things portrayed on the screen and detach them from the reality. The last line of text on the screen was about there being over 200,000 child soldiers in Africa today.

I feel my whole being is a constant state of simmering, as if I want to take the world and shake it by the neck and say 'do something!' It doesn't matter how big or small, but everyone can do something.

It's like a refrain flowing through my mind, the phrase:
there is always something you can do.

I feel it may form my future, and I welcome it.

Today: 4/10, medium high

feeling welcome

Well, I finally made it to the doctor's this morning...I tried to make an appointment last week but the doctor in question was away, and I was fed up of going from doctor to doctor (the two I saw previously have now left the practise). Then I walked to the chemist to get my prescription for some more of these headache tablets. The doctor reiterated that it may take up to a year. Ho hum. Alas the appointment clashed with my first rest stop, but the day after a Bank Holiday Monday is not going to be an easy one to get the appointment time you want...

Yesterday we stayed in for the Bank Holiday since the rain was ridiculous, certainly during the first part of the day. Charlie's hutch was standing in a pool of water. I brought him inside for my sake as much as his. The legs on his hutch are plastic so it's not too much of a problem, but I needed to put my wellies on just to reach him. The weather forecast was rain until Friday, but I've yet to see any today. Charlie doesn't mind; he likes being at the hub of things. He spends most of his time staring plaintively at me.

So, we watched a film yesterday - we got 'Enchanted' out from the video shop. Whether I was just in the right frame of mind I don't know, but I loved it. I thought the bit where she summons the pigeons, rats and insects of New York to do the housework with her (to a happy song) was hilarious. Andy and I decided that there is a good possibility I am a Disney character. I have that dopey streak, and would adore having animals and birds come at my tuneful call.

We went to a different church on Sunday evening as we're not having evening services at the moment due to the building project. I enjoyed the speaker, but couldn't help noticing that absolutely no one came to speak to us. Granted there were a mix of churches there and they may expect a few more strangers than usual, but we could have been anyone. We were much earlier than most and were sitting there by ourselves for ages before many people turned up, and started nattering to one another. I couldn't help a wry smile as I've been reading Simon Jones' book 'Why bother with church?' and in it he uses the anecdote of a woman visiting a church for the first time. The description he used of what going into the service was like was eerily similar - small clusters of people talking to each other, musicians up front, the occasional polite smile. One of our church's great gifts is it's welcome. I'm used to almost being bowled over with people's delight at seeing me. I suppose I couldn't help notice the contrast!

There's a balance between overpowering and completely ignoring someone. Often we don't go up and talk to someone because we feel maybe they want their own space. (I felt a bit of that on Sunday evening - people wondered who we were, but didn't actually approach us.) But that's something we can be sensitive too when we do talk to them - say a warm hello, perhaps ask where they're from, and be discerning as to whether they are pleased to be talked to or would rather have some space. Often people still appreciate a genuine hello and gesture of welcome even if they don't feel like a long conversation. Staring awkwardly at them from afar is certainly not going to help! And simply assuming someone else will talk to them is equally unhelpful - other people may be busy or talking to someone else.

Hmm, have I bored you stiff with my waffle yet?

Energy levels: 4-5/10
Headache: medium

Yesterday: 5/10, medium low
Sunday: 4-5/10, medium - high