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Today is Good Friday.  Will you follow him?

h/t Liturgy

can a retweet be a prayer?

Reading the newspaper this weekend I scanned the selected tweets section and came across this one from comedian Chris Rock:

Forget the hashtags and the retweets. Japan is going through an obvious hardship so any prayers and support should be genuine (@notchrisrock)

It made me shuffle in my seat slightly. I had retweeted a 'pray for Japan' message earlier that day (admittedly without hashtag), because I felt so ill equipped to post anything worthwhile, but nonetheless I didn't want to say nothing, either.

Always the problem - is saying nothing worse than saying an inadequate something? I still can't answer this question, as my words feel ragingly inadequate in the face of other people's suffering. And the fact that words are my 'thing' doesn't help - what I don't want to do is to fall into the trap about making it about me and how my words portray something.

Which reminds me of Jesus' words about praying - going into your room, and closing the door, not standing on street corners spouting lengthy prayers for all to see. Probing question : if I pray on my blog, am I acting the puffed up scribe, more concerned with my words than the very thing I'm praying for?

Feeling uncomfortable? Me too. But I think discomfort is good. We should always keep an eye on our motives, especially the sub-conscious ones, slyly nipping in around the back.

Looking out Chris Rock's twitterfeed I discover that his previous tweet was: 'Damn shame how some of you who never pray, or don't even believe in God talkin bout " #PrayForJapan " trying to get retweets', which does alter the emphasis slightly, but I'm almost glad I read the second tweet out of context, because it provoked me to think so much about the topic.

It's great to join together in prayers in a way we couldn't previously. Sometimes, typing a prayer into a keyboard and the vast network beyond feels in itself an act of prayer, but the nature of the technology we use means that it could easily become about the pray-ers and (horrors) the best prayers. Wherein I think we really have crossed the line and started 'praying for appearances'. I want to be able to say 'amen' together, to pray together, while avoiding it becoming about ourselves. Which is as challenging in cyberspace as anywhere else.

I love sharing words in prayer, it's a way I express myself to God among others, appreciating the fact we can all say 'amen' together and help each other express the concerns of our hearts. I just have to watch for those dastardly motives that slyly nip in round the back when I'm not looking.

As for the title of this post 'can a retweet be a prayer?', it gives me pause. Do I actually pray before I click 'retweet'? Or am I doing it because I think I should or (horrors,again) because I want to look good? And I mean 'good' in all its fulness.

Oh, I'm such a righteous soul, behold my retweet?

Or, as I mentioned earlier, am I expressing myself in someone else's words - as people have been doing for centuries - in order to focus my prayers? The latter, I'm okay with. The former - eek.

Perhaps the key is to stick with the liturgies of the centuries - but sometime we do want to pray very specifically for something, or feel moved to use our own words. And then again, if we worry too much about our motives, we freeze up completely. And we don't pray at all, which is not good. Gah. In all things, we need a healthy self awareness without getting paranoid about everything we do.

And now I feel genuinely moved to pray, but under the circumstances I hesitate, in turmoil. How to avoid the very thing I'm concerned about?

I'll stick with the following:

Argh! Lord, help?!

Twitter, litter, and Jehovah's Witnesses

First of all, apologies to those of you who follow me on Twitter and received an 'inappropriate' Direct Message from me - I got hacked, but it's now back in my control.  It was a rather distasteful moment finding out someone was using my name for such purposes.

We visited Andy's parents yesterday as well as some friends and their new baby, which was lovely.  On the way we were travelling up a dual carriageway and Andy pointed out the exorbitant amount of litter on the verges.  Littering always makes me twitchy - the only 'club' I joined at school was the Environmental Club.  We used to look after the Recycling Pavilion; I'm not sure why it was called a 'pavilion'; it was a hut really, with appropriate places for different kinds of glass, plastic, paper etc.  I remember often being nominated to remove any spiders so that my friends could go inside without shrieking. 

Anyway.  We did river cleans and beach cleans and it was very satisfying to see the result.  Littering is so out of my mindset, upbringing and beliefs I honestly can't understand why people do it.  I can't imagine not caring about spoiling our environment.  It baffles me.

This morning I had my chat with the Jehovah's Witnesses, a cheerful lady, now accompanied frequently by her mother, with whom I laugh and chat and crack jokes.  This seems to me far more healthy than hiding behind the sofa or thumping them over the head with my bible shouting 'YOU HERETIC!' and chasing them down the path.  I appreciate that not all Jehovah's Witnesses are as easy going and certainly if a more militant group appeared I might be tempted to hide (bible thumping being a touch violent for me).

Actually I rather enjoy our good humoured chats.  I've agreed to work through their little booklet with them (pictured).  It involves reading paragraphs and getting my bible out and reading it on the doorstep.  This rather amuses me because it is certainly an exercise in confidence building - doing it in front of the whole road!!  We've not reached much controversial territory yet; I know the clashes in belief will begin to emerge so that will be interesting.  I rather feel this is part of my witness - again rather amusing!  I know some would not agree to my reading their materials and being so willing to discuss them - but I think it's good to understand what they believe and share any differences.  I want to explain what I believe with gentleness and respect.

What this reminds me of is how much I need to know my bible in order to answer questions about my beliefs.  Despite spending three years at bible college, reading regular bible notes since an early age, reading the bible in a year (as I did last year), I know I need constant revision.  I'm simply not designed to retain information without revisiting it and using it.  I need to be constantly learning; I am so aware of things I want to grasp more fully, be quicker to remember, be able to access immediately.  I'm praying that I can find ways of immersing myself; ways of finding those words which are on the 'tip of my tongue' but I can't quite articulate in a way I would like.  I need to use my time efficiently.  I need to realise learning is never ended...that I need to seek continually, for all my days.

Enough waffle, methinks - and excessive use of the word 'rather', as well...

'Garbage' sign image from stock.xchng

twittering, in various ways

Went to Craft Club at church this morning. A little low on numbers, but nobody seemed to mind. Took my cardmaking stuff (last time I took scrapbooking). Nice to be with others and have lots of delicious S-P-A-C-E. I am perpetually filling up my table in the spare room as it is very multi-purpose! I quite like listening to others chat when I'm feeling tired; very undemanding but still feeling part of things, which is important for me.

The goldfinches have made it to our new nyjer feeder in the garden which is lovely to see. The blue and great tits are frequently up and down the seed feeders and the peanut feeder, twittering away.

Speaking of which, I am now on Twitter, after having no particular desire for twittering (except verbally, which I do quite frequently!), impulsively signed up. Have discovered it may be beneficial with someone with as poor a short term memory as me! Still, I suspect there will be patches I forget all about it! If you want to follow me, you can find me here. You'll get to 'hear' my burbling about the silliest things, no doubt. It's also in my sidebar...

Made three cards this morning. Inspiration was a bit slow in coming, but never mind. It's nice to be creative with other people.

Various jobs this afternoon...must go have lunch. Always find lunch awkward. I feel empty, but can never think of something I feel like eating. End up spending ages hovering in the kitchen, frowning and muttering....

Today:4/10, medium