the impossible child

In looking at Genesis over at Thirsty Ground, I rediscovered some scribbled thoughts in my notebook from my original journey through Genesis.

They reflect on the nature of promise (especially in reference to God's call to Abram in Genesis 12).

The nature of God's promise to Abram is that it goes against all human expectations.  To the human eye, the land is full and Sarai is barren. In order that the land should be inherited by his offspring (seed) - not just the one who inherits - the tension of the story lies around these impossible descendants, the impossible child.

Impossible to human eyes, but not in God's. There is no mention of curse or disfavour in relation to Sarai's barrenness. It is merely the situation that she - and her family - are in. It's a non-starter, but God is never troubled by such things.  He can mend her broken womb.

Of course, Abram may have assumed that this offspring would come through another woman (and certainly this is what they later attempt, to make their own muddled version of the promise) - but God has always had Sarai - Sarah - in mind.

Sarah's child was an impossible child, especially as the years went by and both she and Abraham were old and past childbearing. Isaac was not the only impossible child, of course, for there was one to come who defied every single possibility.

God loves doing impossible things - things that we cannot conjure for ourselves, things that flash pure divine brilliance across the skies of our lives.

he is risen

God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him. 

- Acts 2:24

Happy Resurrection Day

a feeling God? (part 1)

A few gentle musings on a hefty topic, which is far bigger than my tiny hands.  After throwing out a whole lotta words, I've divided it up a bit into a series of posts, which I'll put up at certain points.  Otherwise, it would be an eye ball roller¹.  Of course, this means I won't cover all points in one go and have to resist the urge to clarify everything at once - which, being me, I'll find quite difficult, as I hate being misunderstood!

In my gentle blogging the bible over at Thirsty Ground, I tend to stick with the story and not widen it into big theological conundrums - but that is not to say I am unaware of wider issues of how we read and interpret the bible, nor am I uninterested in such discussions.  In fact, I'm regularly going off on tangents in my mind, connecting ideas and themes with other things I'm reading or thinking about.  (The joy of being able to think - to perceive, to compare, to relate - does anyone else ever find this startling?)

In looking at the story of God's interaction with Noah, I am doing what I have decided at the start - reading the story and commenting on the story, not trying to squeeze things into categories or make them 'fit' with certain frameworks or, in some cases, make them more palatable.  That's not my purpose.  I'm reading the text as story - looking at the words themselves, applying, i suppose, the kind of technique when reading and reflecting on any story. I do this within the belief that this is of course, not just any story.

Nonetheless, I'm aware that some things, read in this way, will cause our minds to fizzle.  I note, for example, in this post that 'this is a story of a feeling God' which may cause problems for those who struggle with the idea that God has feelings, taking this to imply that God is subject to change.   I would say that I am reading it as story, and therefore am not trying to make a theological point about this.

But I do struggle with the belief in the impassibility of God - apologies to those of you who find theological jargon off putting and who do not like hefty blog posts (feel free to turn off or tune out)!  A couple of months ago Clayboy posted on his blog about this topic, saying

It is now quite common to find Christians believing that God has feelings.

He says that this idea, that God can be affected by what he has made - us - is based on what he calls a 'largely discredited' theory of 'static Greek essentialism' and 'some kind of  Hebrew dynamism'.  He talks about this in specific reference to the emotive language used about God in the Old Testament.  Obviously this is something I am particularly immersed in due to my journeying through Genesis, but I am also doing a more generalised 'bible in a year' reading, which I found helpful the first time I attempted it in 2009. 

I feel I cannot possibly approach the topic with any thing like the thoroughness and astuteness that he does, but I am still wary of the influence of Greek philosophical thought on classical Christian thought in this area, in spite of the suggestion that this has been 'widely discredited' - I'd have to examine that claim further in order to be able to comment on that, let alone argue against it.²  But was it not Aristotle who pronounced God as the 'unmoved mover' the one static source from which everything finds its motion? 

If God is moved by nothing, then why should he care, love, or even create?  I feel there must be degrees in this, that it is not merely one fence running through two fields - the passible and the impassible.  Why, I ponder, are we so ready to assume that because we say God must be such-and-such in order to be God (the more philosophical argument, I suppose), therefore he cannot be other than what we say?

I'm not the only one who feels that the image of God we conjure is influenced by a kind of dualism - in her post 'God in a Psychotic Rage?' Lesley notes that

...I am also aware that I tend to look at God through the lenses of the Greek dualism of the earthy being emotional, full of desire, changeable and grubby whereas the spiritual is beautiful, serene, knowledgeable and wise.

Lesley and I may choose to put different items in our wardrobes (see her post here) and we inhabit different traditions/denominations, but I appreciate her honesty, as its something I've always tried to be myself (honest, that is).

The Hebrew narratives feel rather muddier and more complex than our 'pictures of God'.  So, do we try and squeeze the biblical images to fit?  Or do we merely dismiss them?


I don't believe we should create God in our own image - it's the other way round.  I'm not saying God suffers from human feelings (aside from what he does in Jesus - hardly insignificant), thus implying that God feels like me (yikes!).  But I can't at this point condemn the language used as merely our interpretations of God.  Isn't that approach in itself an interpretation of God, open to exactly the same flaws?

More later!

A feeling God? (part 2)

¹Eye ball roller -  not, in this case referring to mere rolling of the eyes, but referring to posts so long that your eye balls dry up and fall out, rolling around on the floor.  Nice.

² I've not been clear here about what Doug meant.  Please see his comment on this post.  

no, no...

...Noah.

I'll be glad when I get past Noah's story over at Thirsty Ground.  I have certain song lyrics plaguing my head - from Who built the ark? Brother Noah built the ark!  and then the animals went in two by two, hurrah! Hurrah!   Not forgetting that the Lord said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody, floody!

Sigh.

GET THOSE ANIMALS out of the muddy muddy!

Argh.  Have had another thought - what will happen when I get to Joseph?!

bible blogging and upcoming giveaway

This week my hands feel full of things - both concrete and abstract.  Events, appointments, chores, writing tasks are all crowding in.  Not much time for blogging!  I have, however, been trying to keep up with my daily posts over at Thirsty Ground.  For those of you interested in what I'm doing there, the BigBible Project asked me to share it with them - for my post on their site see here.

A head's up for those who may be interested: Zondervan have asked me to review Half the Church: recapturing God's global vision for women by Carolyn Custis James on Looking Deeper.

I'll be posting the review here next week - and, since they've sent me two copies, I'll also be hosting a giveaway.  If this is something you fancy reading, remember to stop by next week and leave a comment!

blogging the bible

A few years ago I decided to read through Genesis - and really study it as I went.  I had a thick notebook for the purpose and would scribble down my thoughts.  I would pray before I started, and got Andy to drag home commentaries from his office.  He had a vacant hole in his Old Testament shelf for ages.  I didn't manage to finish Genesis, but I got a lot out of the process.

So, I've decided to reinstate my 'blogging the bible' over at Thirsty Ground for a while, going slowly through at least the early chapters of Genesis and posting my thoughts.  These may be thoughts I had previously and jotted down in my 'Genesis notebook', or they may be current reflections.  They are my reflections, I hasten to add.  I always try and be as informed as I can, but in no way to I ever claim any 'rightness' to my interpretations.  Hence, I am happy for people to read it and add their own thoughts, as long as readers understand I am claiming no authority on the subject.

I started yesterday with this post, let's see how I go, shall we?  Hopefully I won't peter out too soon this time, despite the challenge of keeping more than one blog - always a problem for me.  I'll give it a go as a Lent project, anyway.

Book Review: Discourse Grammar of the Greek New Testament

Firstly I should say that this is an academic book.  If you don't have an interest in language or linguistics, and have no inclination to learn New Testament Greek, you probably will not want to read it.  If you are interested in both these things and want to study some of the nitty-gritty elements, I would highly recommend it.

Steven Runge's Discourse Grammar of the Greek New Testament is a linguistic tool and, within the category of an academic book, is accessible and well presented. Although applying the principles to the handling of the Greek text of the New Testament, I would suggest that you do not need an enormous grasp of Greek to get a sense of what is being said here (although you do need to want to learn!).  What would be helpful is a basic grasp, or at least an interest in, linguistics.  By nature the book employs heavy usage of linguistic and grammatical language.

Runge looks at various discourse devices throughout the book.  As he says in his preface, his approach is cross-linguistic and function-based - i.e. it looks at the way languages operate in general, not just Greek, and it looks at how the linguistic features of a language or particular passage function.  Different languages use different methods to create emphasis and draw attention to certain elements, which is where translation becomes more challenging.

After introducing some key concepts and applying them to English examples, Runge then tackles a series of sections looking at various 'discourse devices'.  He explains the nature and purpose of such a device - whether it be the use of certain connective words, framing devices or metacomments, to name but a few.  (Metacomments, if you're wondering, are comments on what is going to be said - for example 'truly I say to you', or 'I exhort you'.)  He uses Greek examples side by side with English translations, marking clearly each device. Most of these devices do not add to the literal meaning of the text  but they often give certain elements more emphasis or 'prominence', being used in a rhetorical way.

I feel it will be a very helpful resource in my own studies - in both Greek and language in general (showing its versatility).  I have been going through it with pencil in hand, studying it rather than merely reading it.

My only criticism is that it does not have a scripture reference index at the back.  I appreciate the passages are being used as examples rather than studied for themselves, but it is always useful to be able to look up any related information on a passage and I feel there is a noticeable gap in this regard.  Neither does it have an index of, for example, particular Greek words that it tackles in the main book.

However, it does have a helpful summary at the back which outlines the topics covered.

If you are studying Greek and have an interest in how language is used, I would recommend this book.

Discourse Grammar of the Greek New Testament: A Practical Introduction for Teaching and Exegesis by Steven E Runge (Hendrickson Publishers/Alban Books) RRP: £32.99

I received this book free from Alban Books for the purpose of reviewing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. 

all your heart

Trust in Yahweh with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

 in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

 Do not be wise in your own eyes;

fear Yahweh and shun evil.

 This will bring health to your body

and nourishment to your bones.

Proverbs 3:6-8

Book Review: Nelson's Biblical Cyclopedic Index

My initial reaction when I opened the package containing this book was one of surprise.  It was much smaller than I had anticipated, smaller than many other paperbacks.  This I found rather appealing as reference books are usually somewhat more hefty!

My husband picked it up and said 'what is it?' which is a valid question, so I'll tell you what it's not.  It's not a concordance.  Neither is it exhaustive.  The introduction could be seen as a little misleading on this front.

It is a topical index of subjects and words in the bible, arranged alphabetically, with sub-sections and occasional word studies. The word studies are interesting (from Strong's) although it seems a shame that it doesn't tell you whether it is a Greek or Hebrew word it's explaining.  The context usually makes this clear but for beginners this may be a bit muddling.  I like things to be both clear and thorough in these kinds of books, and adding abbreviations for 'Greek' or 'Hebrew' would not take up much space.

As I said, it's not exhaustive.  Looking up a topic I have been studying, I only found some of the references I knew were there.  Nevertheless, as a basic guide to a topic it's quite a nice starting point.  Also within the sub-headings there is a degree of interpretation from the writer(s) as to what certain passages are referring to, which may irritate some.

My general opinion is that I'm quite pleased to have this and it will make a handy little guide for me, as long as I remember what it's not. Therefore I come to it not expecting that it will tell me everything. Thus the tagline 'the best bible subject index ever' I find rather misleading and dare I say, incorrect (although no doubt it depends on what you categorize as a 'bible subject index'). Reviewing a reference book is not always easy, of course, as you get to know as you use it - and that takes time.

I want to like this little book, and in some ways I do. It is an extremely handy size, and I mean that sincerely. I love looking things up, and I will certainly use it when thinking or teaching about a certain topic.

I suppose my frustrations are mainly that it implies something about itself that feels a little exaggerated, and lacks some of the thoroughness I normally appreciate.  But then, can you have thoroughness without heftiness?!  I wonder.





I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

new every morning

The steadfast love of Yahweh never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
"Yahweh is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."
Yahweh is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.

Lamentations 3: 22-25

the right to rest

On the shelf in the room next door is a caterpillar.  Not a real caterpillar, I hasten to add.  A wind-up caterpillar, a segmented little creature that once wound up, will squirm its way across the surface.  It will keep on squirming until the mechanism unwinds entirely.  Then it staggers to a halt.  If something gets in its way, it won't stop moving until it has wound down.  It will simply squirm on the spot, headbutting at the obstacle until somebody moves it out of the way.

Sometimes I think we live in a wind-up world.  In this Western culture of ours, at least, we tend to keep going until we cannot keep going, keep trying until there is nothing left to try.  Rest becomes just another thing on the To Do List - a necessity we need to do at some point, but only when we really have to.  It's not that we don't want to do it.  It just becomes harder and harder to justify as the tasks line up in our minds.

What fascinates me about the institution of Sabbath under the Old Covenant is that part of the reason for it is compassionate.  It's not about a list of things that you should do on the Sabbath.  It's about resting yourself and your household and (touchingly) your animals. Those who have no choice when they work are given the guarantee of a day off.  Those who have had no rights are given this right.  The right to rest.

I do not keep Sabbath, not in the Old Covenant sense.  And the idea of Sunday becoming a Sabbath equivalent is not particularly feasible in our household - Sunday is a busy day, Sunday is a working day.  Sunday is a day for worshipping God, for teaching about God, for focusing on God. Sunday is good.  But Sunday is not like Sabbath.  Not for us, and not in fact for many Christians. I cannot shove Sunday into a Sabbath mould.  Sunday is Resurrection Day, the day when the early church chose to remember the great Third Day Spectacular that was Jesus Christ rising from the dead.  I like that.  Sunday is Resurrection Day.

So, instead of keeping the Old Covenant Sabbath day, we follow the principle of Sabbath.  Which is great.  Except sometimes we get so cluttered up in life that our principles get a bit muddled and lost and, rather too often, postponed.

One problem I find is that it's not just about physical rest but turning off our minds.  This will apply more to some people than others!  Some of us have naturally busy minds - be it because we are feeding off the other busy-ness of our lives, because we're worriers, or simply because we're creative and thoughts form entire paragraphs in minutes. And we can't switch off.  Our minds become like that caterpillar, squirming and head butting at what ever obstacle stands in its way.

Because I suffer from Chronic Fatigue (M.E) I have a routine of scheduled rests which I do my best to follow - three half hour stopping points throughout the day, where I lie down, do nothing and allow my body to recharge.  I'm quite good at following this rule on a physical level, but my mind is another story.  I whir away, my thoughts tumbling, until at some point I remember - I'm not supposed to be doing this.  I'm supposed to be giving myself the right to rest - mentally as well as physically.

There are of course various exercises you can do to relax yourself, but I find these lack permanence for me and my chaotic mind.  In the end, there's only one possible thing I can do - and it's so often the last thing.  So often the last thing.  I go to the Lord of the Sabbath himself. How we squirm away sometimes! No. No. Must. Keep. Going. Forgetting that the burdens we place on ourselves are unnecessary.  We refuse to believe this. We assume we must do all that we do. But what if we couldn't? We need to continually look at our lives and ask ourselves: is this really helpful/necessary/important?

Amid the clutter of my thoughts, I go to the Lord of the Sabbath himself.  For I admit, sometimes I lose control of my own mind.  I've wound it up, and now it won't wind down.  There's no switch-off.  It's out of my capability.  I know, amid my struggles and my thoughts - yes even the good  ones- amid my tasks and my ideas - yes even the good  ones - I have been given a certain amount of energy in the day.  I need to look away from the To Do List in my head, even just for a few minutes.  (If you don't have five minutes, you need to look seriously at what you are doing with your day.)  

Because the principle of Sabbath rest holds firm.  We need rest - for body, soul and mind.  We have been created to need rest.  Rest is created for us.  We have been given the right to rest. And to get good at rest, we need to practise it.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-29 

only the holy

The nature of holiness has always fascinated me.  In the bible, particularly in the Old Testament, we see it as something scorchingly different, special, other.  That which is holy is for God.  Only the holy. In the New Testament we see holiness arrive with arms and legs.  We see God made man, who, when touched by the "unclean" of the ancient purity codes, does something extraordinary.  In the Old Testament, "holy" objects, things set aside for God, can easily get polluted.  They become unholy, simply by contact with the ordinary.  Let alone the "unclean".

But Jesus, the Holy One of God, touches not just the ordinary but those seen as "unclean".  And the flows are reversed. When Jesus touches someone, he makes them clean. His holiness is catching. Suddenly, the whole thing has been turned upside down.

It's important to the Christian to pursue holiness in their every day living, to seek to imitate Christ, to become more like him. But it's also something we can ask for - for it is God's Holy Spirit who aids us and transforms us. So we can pray 'Lord, make me holy,' and trust that he will work within our lives a transformation we could never manage on our own.

***

Which ties in nicely with the current Salt Challenge, Pray for Holiness.

I've recently started getting into Digi-Scrapping (Digital Scrapbooking).  I struggle with the time , space and energy required to get all my crafting stuff out of the cupboard at the moment - writing takes priority.  But this way of engaging with my creative side, which I never thought I'd really like, is proving great fun.  And a lovely way of scrapping all my digital photographs (as I still have oodles and oodles of prints to sort through from over the years).

needing to know: the known and the familiar

It strikes me as somewhat ironic that in a culture where many prize personal certainty, we are so unwilling to seek knowledge.  Unless, of course, it's on a need-to-know basis.  The problem is, I don't always realise what I need to know.  Have you ever taken a bite of something and only then realised how hungry you were? Or sunk into a warm bath and been struck by the heat against the coldness of your body - a coldness you had managed to ignore?

I continue to think about faith - faith that is informed, a seeing faith, a faith that hungers and thirsts.  About what we believe and why we believe it - and how we explain it to others.  How can I make sense to others when I have not discovered the sense for myself?  How can I, relying on nuggets of second hand information, ever hope to firmly grasp the promise and hope that the bible offers?

Yesterday I had one of my regular bible studies with my Jehovah's Witness friends.  We come from different viewpoints, with different beliefs on the central issues of our faith.  But we all enjoy seeking knowledge together, looking at the bible and discussing its meaning.  I wish that more people would take the time to do this.  But I worry that we have become ill equipped to do so.  When discussing the meaning of our faith and what we believe about the bible, we need to be familiar with it.  Otherwise how can we give a reason for our belief?

OED definition - familiar: adjective (1) well known from long or close association

It goes on to add:  'often encountered or experienced'.  Then a second hue of meaning:

(2) in close friendship; intimate

Do we have that kind of familiarity with what we believe?  That familiarity with the bible?

Or do we take it on a 'need-to-know basis'?  Looking it up only when we think we need to, only when we are challenged, asked or troubled by something.

If we do not immerse ourselves in the pursuit of knowing something, we will never get familiar with it.  If we don't frequently encounter it, have a close association with it, we will never achieve an intimate knowledge of it.

If we never achieve an intimate knowledge of something, we will never be able to explain it fully to those who really want - and need - to know.

intelligent faith

I'm saturating myself in study at the moment, which sounds like hard work.  It is hard work, in one way, but at least I am not suffering from motivation issues.  Due to topics I'm looking at for writing research, including various articles and (eek) the book, plus regular challenging discussions, particularly with Jehovah's Witnesses, my own hunger for understanding my faith is rapidly expanding.  I've always been a proponent of intelligent faith.  Many people think faith is blind.  'Blind faith' is a common phrase, or even more well known the 'leap of faith' (Dallas Willard had some very perceptive comments on that phrase when we went to hear him in Swindon - I intend to look over my notes again on that).

I have faith in someone for a reason - because they are trustworthy, because they are faithful, because I know them.  My faith is based on my knowledge of that person.  It may believe in the unseen, but that is not the same as blindness.  In fact, it could well be the opposite, if you think about it. To keep digging deeper into what my faith means, to get to know what the bible actually says, to remove, as much is as ever possible, the lens of cultural misunderstandings and identify the rawness beneath: all this is valuable.  My knowledge fuels my faith.

No, I don't believe in 'wise words' over and against the demonstration of the Spirit's power (cf. 1 Corinthians 2:4-5), but to use this and other verses not to seek greater understanding seems to me to be nonsense - after all, Paul (who wrote these words), expounded frequently on what his faith meant, especially in response to issues the church was facing (the nature of letters, of course - one side of a conversation).  But when we determine to explore, to the best of our ability, the depths of what we believe and why we believe it, to question continually our suppositions and pre-suppositions, to immerse ourselves in a journey of discovery, we become stronger, healthier, more able to respond readily to those who question us.  It's important to do so in utmost humility, to offer what we have learnt as a contribution to the conversation, without ploughing in waving our discoveries like a baseball bat.

I'm reminded of the angel's words to Daniel in his own quest for understanding:

'Do not be afraid, Daniel.  Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard...' (Daniel 10:12)

pronouns, paraphrases...and Psalm 23

Today a line of thought led me to a memory.  I remembered a time many years ago
 when a kind lady prayed for me at a conference.  As part of this, she read 'over me' Psalm 23 - but she switched the pronouns.  Instead of praying 'The LORD is my shepherd', she prayed 'the LORD is your shepherd' and continued to read with different pronouns throughout the Psalm (since the Psalm itself does a bit of pronoun switching when talking about /to God, this requires a bit of practice!)

I found it an effective way of making a very personal connection from a very familiar Psalm, and it accompanied a moment of genuine healing. By using scripture in these creative ways, it becomes a great tool for prayer and intercession.  Of course, you could also, if you were comfortable with it, switch pronouns again, as I have done in the following.  I've used 'Yahweh' rather than substitute 'the LORD' as I love using His name.  Read it through slowly and 'listen' to the words.

I, Yahweh, am your shepherd - you shall have no need for anything.
I bring you to rest in green and fertile fields,
I lead you beside peaceful waters;
I restore your soul.
For the sake of my name, I lead you in paths of righteousness.

Even though you may walk through the deepest, darkest valley,
fear no evil.  I am with you.  
My rod and staff are here to comfort you.
I prepare a feast for you in the presence of all those who are against you.
I anoint your head with oil; your cup is filled to overflowing.
Goodness and mercy will follow you every moment of your life,
and you will live in my house forever.

You may notice the occasional bit of paraphrasing.  Paraphrases should never be taken as a translation, but they can give a different 'take' and add a freshness to familiar words.  Personally I love digging down to the meaning as close as possible to the original text; I like to know what I'm reading is what it really says.  But with familiar passages, paraphrases can re-invigorate the old words.  Of course, a paraphrase tends to carry the voice, dialect and culture of the one doing the paraphrasing.

Once, again a few years back, I led a youth group for a short time and during one session I asked them to write the Lord's Prayer in their own words.  The results were creative, and enabled us all to think about what the words meant.  Sometimes, doing your own paraphrase of a well known passage helps you think about its meaning in a deeper way.

If you're not comfortable with this, try reading it differently.  Put the emphases on different words.

Consider:

The Lord is my shepherd.

The Lord is my shepherd.

The Lord is my shepherd.

This is a very simple exercises which may bring elements to the foreground which had previously been unnoticed, or lost their impact.

The over-familiar can suddenly have great intensity - if we try some different ways of reading it.

Easter words - take two

Recently a whole lot of Google searches are arriving at my blog, searching for 'words that describe Easter'. They arrive on my older post 'Easter Words'...which made me re-read it myself. So, because I felt it might be worth sharing again, yes, I'm doing my first ever re-post. Enjoy!



Am taking a moment to try and contemplate the coming remembrance and celebration that is Easter. And I find I struggle. I get so caught up in the every day; it is hard to focus in the way that I would like. I would like to carve out meaningful thoughts and place them here, to help myself think on what is coming.

But of course, it is not something that happens once a year. It is something that happened once for all, for all time, and so every day I live in the reality of the crucifixion, and the resurrection. The significance of that death, that aching pause of the day inbetween, and the vindication that was the rising again.

And when I think of it, I breathe in and feel a tremor through me – for how I could live, not how I do live. How do I live the reality of Easter, daily? How do I remember the words without using jargon or clichés? There are some fantastic words which talk about what our faith means, but they are in fact such a closed language to those who do not know the meaning of them. How do I talk about it in a fresh, beautiful, heart-touching way? Where can I find a new vocabulary to recapture the meaning of truth?

We tire of cliché and jargon and all the words. We tire of the same ways of saying things. We find some concepts difficult to describe. We want to remember it all in a fresh way. I want to remember it all in a fresh way.

How do I talk about the clogging blackness that sits between God and humanity, and how the white light of what Jesus did blasts it all away? How do I talk about God and us – out of alignment, but put back in alignment with a cross? How do I talk about love which sears through evil and darkness and illuminates a whole new way of living?

Perhaps the breath of God may transform the words; perhaps I simply need to open my mouth and utter one thing, however clumsy, inept, or incoherent.

Perhaps all that matters is that I try.

Twitter, litter, and Jehovah's Witnesses

First of all, apologies to those of you who follow me on Twitter and received an 'inappropriate' Direct Message from me - I got hacked, but it's now back in my control.  It was a rather distasteful moment finding out someone was using my name for such purposes.

We visited Andy's parents yesterday as well as some friends and their new baby, which was lovely.  On the way we were travelling up a dual carriageway and Andy pointed out the exorbitant amount of litter on the verges.  Littering always makes me twitchy - the only 'club' I joined at school was the Environmental Club.  We used to look after the Recycling Pavilion; I'm not sure why it was called a 'pavilion'; it was a hut really, with appropriate places for different kinds of glass, plastic, paper etc.  I remember often being nominated to remove any spiders so that my friends could go inside without shrieking. 

Anyway.  We did river cleans and beach cleans and it was very satisfying to see the result.  Littering is so out of my mindset, upbringing and beliefs I honestly can't understand why people do it.  I can't imagine not caring about spoiling our environment.  It baffles me.

This morning I had my chat with the Jehovah's Witnesses, a cheerful lady, now accompanied frequently by her mother, with whom I laugh and chat and crack jokes.  This seems to me far more healthy than hiding behind the sofa or thumping them over the head with my bible shouting 'YOU HERETIC!' and chasing them down the path.  I appreciate that not all Jehovah's Witnesses are as easy going and certainly if a more militant group appeared I might be tempted to hide (bible thumping being a touch violent for me).

Actually I rather enjoy our good humoured chats.  I've agreed to work through their little booklet with them (pictured).  It involves reading paragraphs and getting my bible out and reading it on the doorstep.  This rather amuses me because it is certainly an exercise in confidence building - doing it in front of the whole road!!  We've not reached much controversial territory yet; I know the clashes in belief will begin to emerge so that will be interesting.  I rather feel this is part of my witness - again rather amusing!  I know some would not agree to my reading their materials and being so willing to discuss them - but I think it's good to understand what they believe and share any differences.  I want to explain what I believe with gentleness and respect.

What this reminds me of is how much I need to know my bible in order to answer questions about my beliefs.  Despite spending three years at bible college, reading regular bible notes since an early age, reading the bible in a year (as I did last year), I know I need constant revision.  I'm simply not designed to retain information without revisiting it and using it.  I need to be constantly learning; I am so aware of things I want to grasp more fully, be quicker to remember, be able to access immediately.  I'm praying that I can find ways of immersing myself; ways of finding those words which are on the 'tip of my tongue' but I can't quite articulate in a way I would like.  I need to use my time efficiently.  I need to realise learning is never ended...that I need to seek continually, for all my days.

Enough waffle, methinks - and excessive use of the word 'rather', as well...

'Garbage' sign image from stock.xchng

light

The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?

Psalm 27:1

radiant

Look to him, and be radiant;

so your faces will never be ashamed.

Psalm 34:5

the fact of the matter

the fact of the matter is
I'm a work in progress

every so often I remember
those who are far worse off than I am
and keep things all
in their proper perspective
every so often

sometimes I ignore
the impulse to strike out
in my defence, remaining
wisely silent and calm
sometimes

from time to time, I let go
of the need for the approval
of others, and focus instead
on the One who truly matters
from time to time

once in a while, I have
an utterly generous moment,
and all I can think of
is giving to another
once in a while

occasionally, I take time
to stop, reflect, and be thankful
for all that I've been given,
rather than all I think I lack
occasionally

every now and then, I can almost
touch the beautiful proximity
of my creator, sensing
his extravagant love
every now and then

the fact of the matter is
I'm a work in progress




***

The last few days, the air outside the front door has been full of butterflies, mainly Painted Ladies, coming through on the wave of warmer weather. Summer, after politely waiting in the wings while we all cooed with delight at Spring, is emerging. When I walked out with my camera this morning, the heat of the sun instantly hit me - making me realise I was wearing the wrong clothes.

Do you ever get the feeling you are wearing the wrong clothes? I feel it, when I end up being all the things I hate. When I'm irritable, impatient, selfish, consumed with a desire to please everyone, when all I can see is me and I forget the needs of everyone else. There's an awareness niggling at the edge of my mind, knowing, somehow, that I'm wearing the wrong clothes. And as soon as I turn to seek God's face, and feel his warmth, it becomes even more obvious.


My identity is in Jesus Christ, so when I behave in a way contrary to that lifestyle, I am acting outside of my true identity. I'm growing into it, I suppose you could say, but there are times I need to draw back and think - no, wait. I don't have to respond to this situation like this. With God's help, I can win over my natural reflexes (forces of habit, a lot of them). Instead of letting my insecurities take the reins, I can choose to dwell on the security of being 'in Christ', getting things in perspective, choosing to be wise.
I wear the wrong clothes a lot of the time. But in Colossians we are told:
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14)

Those are the things we should be wearing. I am a work in progress. I'm not going to get it right all the time. But I would like to do it a little more frequently than I do now. I want to see the transformation of my heart and mind. So that one day I will be as beautifully clothed as those butterflies, after their own amazing metamorphosis. I want to be who I was made to be.