March madness

You know, I might just be tempted to say the words.  I might just have the courage to announce it, to shout it from the rooftops.  Winter, you're over!  Don't come back until the end of the year!  

Today the sky was clear and blue but this did not equal crisp and cool. Nothing wrong with crisp and cool if rationed properly, but today the sun felt warm.  Warm!  And the birds were singing in pure defiance!  And in the pond, for the first time since we moved in about 6 years ago, there are thousands of wriggling tadpoles just hatched, which inevitably causes me to revert to a childhood state, hunched over the pond, watching in delight.  The workmen next door probably thought I was odd, but never mind. (Of course, when I was child, the garden was too wide and the fences were too high for neighbours to spy my pond gazing.)

I'm not entirely relaxed, however; I'm still crouched protectively around the sweetness of spring, never sure when the frost may yet return to bite me.  I can't sit back and relax - not quite yet.

But you know what?  Today when I took some kitchen peelings out to the compost bin I smelt something.  No, it wasn't orange peel.  No, it wasn't rotting straw.

I swear I smelt a hint of summer.  Summer!  It was enough to stop me in my tracks, hand hovering in mid air as I reached to open the compost bin, while I almost looked around to see an entirely different season.

Forgive me.  I seem to be infected with March madness...

What are you taking up for Lent?

Lent begins next week. Sometimes I miss the beginning entirely, swamped by 'things' and trivialities. I want to mark it, observe it, but I easily forget it. As for giving things up -well, sometimes I do, but not always. I feel it can become a bit too automatic. Lent = giving something up. I always want to think about the why - or the because. If I give something up 'because it's Lent' it can feel somewhat dreary and unimpressive. I want to be reminded of the greater why, the greater because. I want to think about journey, about discipleship, about re-focusing my mind.

But sometimes I think I need to set myself the opposite challenge - not to give something up but to take something up. To introduce a new discipline, a new way of constructing my days, a new way of thinking about things. This could be exploring other traditions - looking at the 'liturgy of the hours', marking time with prayer and reflection. It could be simply determining to create space for something I feel I am neglecting - and trying to foster and encourage a new spirituality, a new focus. And if I do give something up - who benefits?

I suspect that many of us in giving up something are doing it for our own benefit. Lent becomes a useful tool, a backdrop, for something we want to deal with anyway. It gives us an added edge, a more enforced discipline. But what do we do with the time we save by giving up, say, computer games? Or the money we save by not buying chocolate? (Two fairly common examples). Do we simply fritter away the saved time or money on other things, other treats? Or do we think - i want to take the me-ness out of this and add other-ness, God-ness even.



Water Aid have been running a Lent campaign where they suggest that people get together and save up 'jars of change' - the money they would have been spending on whatever it is they've given up. This money goes towards safe and accessible water for the world's communities.  Their website has plenty of resources available to use.


What about time? Time saved to be spent discovering more and different ways of reading the bible, trying to engage with it. This can be individual, but doing it together can really help inspire and challenge us. What about taking a look at the Biblefresh initiative?

Biblefresh is a movement of churches, agencies, organisations, colleges and festivals which has a vision to reignite and re-enthuse the church in its passion for the Bible. For many in our churches the Bible has become tedious and toxic rather treasured, trusted and true. The aim of the Biblefresh initiative is to encourage a greater confidence and passion for Scripture across the Church.

- http://www.biblefresh.com/get-involved

So, am I giving anything up? As I'm already cutting out dairy and yeast from my diet, this kind of giving up is a little over familiar at the moment.  I expect I will try and give up some time wasting elements in my life, but I want to be able to use that 'extra' time wisely and well.

So for that reason I am asking myself this question:

What are you taking up for Lent?

***

Update: for some reason my reader comments had been disallowed for this post.  Please feel free to make up for it! 

spring in my step

Andy and I are having a weekend off - which is utterly blissful.  Even more delightful today is the glorious spring sunshine.  We were wandering along underneath an overwhelmingly blue sky, a breeze ruffling around us and I was ranting about the joy of spring.

'I just want to drink it in,' I raved, throwing my head back before casting a sidelong glance at Andy.  'You think I'm a nutcase,' I said.
'Oh, I know you're a nutcase.'  He replied.


Seriously, spring does this to me - freshness, potential, life billowing through the the dormancy of winter.

Pure delight.

spring potential

There's something about the first hints of spring.  Reminders that winter does not last forever.  Life sprouting from the seemingly empty and barren.  Potential in its purest form - a promise of beginnings.  Of a whole new season lying ahead, holding life and hope within it.

thoughts on newness and resolving

These days I don't make official New Year's Resolutions.  There is nothing so paralysing as my own expectations of myself.  I like to think of having hopes, dreams, intentions.

But if I'm honest, there's always a giant To Do List in my head and at the beginning of the year, after Christmas is over and there is a sense of starting - yes, it does gain more weight.  Something in the mentality of the season, together with the usual break from the ordinary in late December, means that I return home with a mind unusually geared up for action.

Some of the things on the To Do List are rather trivial and hardly worthy of a New Year's Resolution (NYR), such as 'must clean out that drawer'.  Other hopes/dreams/intentions are rather more profound: 'I would like to be more courageous/wise/disciplined'.  All, of course, are personal in some degree, because they are within my sphere of influence.  'Achieve world peace' would be rather unobtainable since I am not the only person on earth.  However, I can think about how I interact with family and friends.  I think about what I choose to say or not say.  When I choose to stand up, when I choose to sit down.

As I noted in the last edition of our church magazine, I rather like the idea of prayers for the year rather than resolutions.  And certainly, it gives a different emphasis.  'Dear Lord, I would like more courage/wisdom/discipline this year,' has a degree of co-operation involved, no longer a lonely pursuit but a conscious decision to ask for help.  Or as the wise man once said in a rowing boat - you can row and pray at the same time.  The two are complimentary.


So, although wary of making NYRs, I do have a gentle bundle of intentions.  Of hopes.  Of prayers.  And the word 'New' carries a certain sense of possibility.  I went through a stage a couple of years ago when I pondered the nature of potential and worried that left on the shelf too long, covered in the dust of years, it shrivels into nothing.

Such a thought did not hold in the long term, since it doesn't fit with my worldview.  I believe in a God who redeems, a God who is constantly taking things off the shelf and transforming them into something beautiful. The potential you left behind may take a different shape now, but with a bit of imagination, who knows what it will be? Even if it's been left there for years.

You may just need a bigger duster.

Of course, pondering the nature of newness, I remind myself that 'his mercies are new every morning', and I certainly don't have to wait until January 1st to consider how great is the faithfulness of YHWH, the great I-AM, always was, always is, always will be.

Wednesday: seasonal haiku

A poem a day...day three

The leaves are turning -

natures quiet remembrance;

summer's gold farewell.

The mist of my breath,

hinting at winter's return.

warmth well-met with cold.

Perhaps that's two poems...but never mind!

Day One: walk with me

Day Two: viewpoints

Image: mine

a hint of the coming season

This morning, I heard spring.  I was placing a book on a shelf and heard the cheep of sparrows.  At the same time, a shaft of sunlight touched my cheek.  I don't what it was - the timbre of the sound, the softness of the air, but I felt a thrill of recognition.  Birds sing and cheep all through winter in our garden, but it felt different.  The bathroom window was wide open as I'd been cleaning; the breeze that drifted through held the promise of a whole new season.  It's only February, but today I heard spring.  I remembered what it felt like - the balm of the sunshine, the joy of the birds, the gentleness of the breeze.  I remembered that over the next few weeks, a change will take place.

On a somewhat more trivial level, it's still mucus manor in my neck of the woods, but I'm now on antibiotics.  Hopefully it will start clearing up in the next few days.  The congestion I can cope with, irritating as it is; it's that awful stinging pain that makes it so difficult.  Bending over to clean the bath this morning was excruciating.

I'm working on various bits of writing, at least as much as I can with my aching head and stinging face; this coming weekend I'm also leading the evening service (Communion & Healing) at church.  It's been a little while but I'm praying God will use my weakness (and weary sinuses!!) to be a blessing.

Yes I know it says 2009 on the photograph...the 2010 crocuses are yet to come!

the view from here

It's a cold, white world. For us the snow arrived last Tuesday; yesterday it was showing signs of melting, and our road was traversible once more. It has since snowed over night and we awoke to sounds of chaos outside: skidding tyres, vigorous shovelling, jump starting. Since then the road is slightly improved but we certainly won't be taking the car out. Someone had to abandon their car earlier in front of our drive, leaving an apologetic note, but we wouldn't have wanted to try it ourselves anyway. We have been going as much on foot as we can.

That has been interesting in itself; tentative cautious stepping through compacted, frozen snow - trying to find the snow that still has some crunch, and therefore some grip. Andy tells me it's not too bad today - the previous snow had begun to go slushy and is still not as solid underneath this new layer - less likelihood of losing your footing.

Last week, when they heralded the 'coldest night in Britain since 1981', was about the time our boiler broke down. It was a frozen condensate pipe of course (since lagged, after the boiler repair man went out with his hairdryer. He picks them up at jumble sales and charity shops, apparently.) We were without heating overnight and a good proportion of the next day, but coped by keeping ourselves contained to as smaller space as possible (it was Andy's day off, so we endured the cold together). We braved the road to borrow some heaters stored in the loft at church. The car got stuck at the top of the road and we needed three people to push us out of it. Next day, when walking to the shop, we returned the favour to someone else in the same predicament.

This picture was one taken by satellite last week (I don't claim credit; I don't currently possess a satellite of my own - NASA, however, do.)

I've not been able to get out to anywhere particularly picturesque; most of the photos I've snapped are close ups in the garden or of birds on feeders, as you can see.
To really get out and take some true 'landscapes', I need a 4 x 4. Oh, and a full driver's license.

seasons and storms

The weather keeps dramatically shifting, from gales and squalls and torrential rain, then just as suddenly blows out and blue skies emerge...an hour later the clouds descend again.

It can be difficult to prepare for such extremes - what kind of coat do I need? Waterproof, windproof, warm or light? Which path should I take, and will it be muddy? Do I need thick socks or will my feet get too hot?

There have been times in life where it has felt like I have moved from one squall to the next. Not just for me, but for many. One lot of weather passes, and another sets in, before you can recover from the first, and prepare yourself for the next. You can find yourself in a completely different situation, needing a whole different set of tools and apparel.

Through times like this, we learn what our 'staples' are - in the sense of those things that are valuable and healthy and essential to keep us going whatever the weather, whatever the terrain.

For me these things include God and faith in him, hope, a sense of perspective. A gentle touch when others hurt. A firm touch when things need to change, or when I myself need a good self-talking to! Keeping my eyes on the light at the other side. All the more difficult when the light may not be visible...yet.

The sense I am not alone, that God is in the darkness with me. The sense that others, too, are dwelling in a similar darkness or storm, and that we can reach out to each other with understanding. The reminder that life is full of seasons.

I went through a very dark, isolated season which lasted at least 2 years, not that long ago. Now, I am aware of a quietness of heart and a renewing of strength. I have known the re-filling of hope. But what has remained with me is an understanding of that darkness and isolation. I may walk the path of hope, but there are so many who grapple with hopelessness.

I've been there. It's dark, and horrible. Your faith gets so thin you think it may break entirely. But you are not the only one. And you are not alone. Take the thread of your faith and entwine it with those of others. We can make it through.

By the grace of God, spring comes.

the fact of the matter

the fact of the matter is
I'm a work in progress

every so often I remember
those who are far worse off than I am
and keep things all
in their proper perspective
every so often

sometimes I ignore
the impulse to strike out
in my defence, remaining
wisely silent and calm
sometimes

from time to time, I let go
of the need for the approval
of others, and focus instead
on the One who truly matters
from time to time

once in a while, I have
an utterly generous moment,
and all I can think of
is giving to another
once in a while

occasionally, I take time
to stop, reflect, and be thankful
for all that I've been given,
rather than all I think I lack
occasionally

every now and then, I can almost
touch the beautiful proximity
of my creator, sensing
his extravagant love
every now and then

the fact of the matter is
I'm a work in progress




***

The last few days, the air outside the front door has been full of butterflies, mainly Painted Ladies, coming through on the wave of warmer weather. Summer, after politely waiting in the wings while we all cooed with delight at Spring, is emerging. When I walked out with my camera this morning, the heat of the sun instantly hit me - making me realise I was wearing the wrong clothes.

Do you ever get the feeling you are wearing the wrong clothes? I feel it, when I end up being all the things I hate. When I'm irritable, impatient, selfish, consumed with a desire to please everyone, when all I can see is me and I forget the needs of everyone else. There's an awareness niggling at the edge of my mind, knowing, somehow, that I'm wearing the wrong clothes. And as soon as I turn to seek God's face, and feel his warmth, it becomes even more obvious.


My identity is in Jesus Christ, so when I behave in a way contrary to that lifestyle, I am acting outside of my true identity. I'm growing into it, I suppose you could say, but there are times I need to draw back and think - no, wait. I don't have to respond to this situation like this. With God's help, I can win over my natural reflexes (forces of habit, a lot of them). Instead of letting my insecurities take the reins, I can choose to dwell on the security of being 'in Christ', getting things in perspective, choosing to be wise.
I wear the wrong clothes a lot of the time. But in Colossians we are told:
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14)

Those are the things we should be wearing. I am a work in progress. I'm not going to get it right all the time. But I would like to do it a little more frequently than I do now. I want to see the transformation of my heart and mind. So that one day I will be as beautifully clothed as those butterflies, after their own amazing metamorphosis. I want to be who I was made to be.

spring Sunday

According to my Dairy Diary (which my mum gets from the milkman each year!), spring officially starts on Friday (20th). But it's already here in our garden:




Thought I would share some of the photos I took in the garden during the week:


Chionodoxa flowering happily

Crocus peeping out the side of the strawberry pot (which I've never used for strawberries!)
First aubretia of the year to open out its little petals

and of course, the golden daffodil glowing in the sunshine

Am going to the evening service today as we had a church quiz last night and I don't cope well with an evening event followed by an event next morning. Spent most of yesterday afternoon agonising over whether to go or not. Was rather low yesterday (thanks for the encouraging comments on my last post, guys - much appreciated) and very tired, but in the end I did go. Was the right thing to do - despite physical exhaustion, I needed somewhere to go and be instead of being left at home feeling as I was.

Our team actually won. I'm not great at general knowledge and completely phased out during the sports section (miraculously, I did know one) and concentrated on the dingbats we'd been given. (Did get rather over-excited during the movie quotes, however!) Andy is very good at retaining facts and accessing them quickly. I learn things well but if I don't use the knowledge enough, it slips away.

Talking of facts, I'll try and post the answers to true or false? tomorrow or Tuesday. In the meantime, you can still join in!

In this stretch of Lent before Easter, I hope to post some more serious thoughts I've been having at this time. I should get a wriggle on; it's less than a month away...

Have a blessed Sunday.

"...the LORD, my God, lights up my darkness." ~ Psalm 18:28

Today: 4/10, medium

don't ask me to predict the weather

After all my springtime comments, today it is snowing. The ground is too wet for it to settle here, although there is thin layer of slush forming on the patio. The plants, flower beds and lawns are all sprinkled with white. (Other places have been more strongly effected with blizzards.)

Charlie disapproves.

Today:3/10, medium high (v.high last night)

the springtime effect

There's something about opening your eyes in the morning and knowing from the colour of your world that the sun is out. It was a wet and windy night, so the sunlight feels even more precious. It lights me up on the inside, not just the outside. I find it soothes my weariness and any anxieties, causing a certain relaxation to flood through me; even as I go about my day working on this and that, I feel a kind of release.

The snowdrops are going over now. February is over and March has arrived! I made it through winter and here comes spring! The daffodils are budding in the front garden, brimming with promise, and the crocuses stretch gleefully towards the sun (like me!)

I was rather pleased with the crocus picture I posted on Monday; apart from the watermark and compressing the file size what you see is what was taken, the same with the images in this post - no later changes or tweaking to the images. I love the sight of these tiny flowers peppering the dull ground with the vibrant colour of hope; they awaken the tiny flowers of hope in my heart's garden, inspiring me to thankfulness and expectation of joy.

Mmm mmm (said appreciatively). Oh yes, spring is beginning and however I physically feel, my heart always rises to meet it...

Today: 4/10, medium

melting snow

Well, the snow is gone now from my neck of the woods, but finally here are some photographs for you. I wasn't able to get out and capture glorious vistas as I'm sure many did, but enjoyed some close up camera moments as the sun bore down and the snow slowly melted. This gave more interest as contrasts were highlighted between the snow and other objects / plants.


grass

aglow

emerging

dormant

milk bottles

melting snow

Thank goodness I can compress the files...the A350 photos are huge compared to those of our old digital camera. It would take forever otherwise!!

the Big Freeze

Weather chaos in our fair isles this week. My poor sister was stranded all night yesterday in a service station with two other women - thankfully home now, after traversing hazardous conditions this morning with no sleep. The Severn Bridges are closed due to slabs of ice smashing into car windscreens; supplies of salt and grit are having to be rationed:
'Plenty of British grit,' quipped one reporter on tonight's news, 'but not the right kind!'

We Brits seem to have a phrase when confronted with life's unpredictability - after explaining the difficulty of our circumstances and our frustration with it, somehow we feel obliged to add: 'ah well, never mind; we'll get there eventually,' or something similar. (Even when stuck in a car for 6 hours on a freezing night in the middle of a blizzard.) You've got to love us, haven't you?!!

Will post some snow pics eventually. Since I'm having a 'rest' I don't have to deal with the elements in the way some people are having to.

Dartmoor looks like the Alps tonight.

For those of you used to this kind of weather, remember we are not, particularly in the Southern areas of England and Wales, and the Westcountry. It's the speed, amount and spread of it that has caused so much trouble. And our heavily populated country has lots of little villages and narrow country lanes and hills and valleys...it can get very treacherous when suffering this kind of weather. A lot of vulnerable people are stranded, and power lines have been down in various places.

I have to say it does make a change from all the political headlines and intricate analysis on the news, and the sense of camaraderie is rather nice.

The 'Big Freeze' continues....

photographs

Here are some of my first attempts.




And the following I cropped afterwards, taking advantage of the high resolution.



This is our friendly blackbird. He likes me to throw out raisins for him. When I'm in the garden he hides in the bushes and sings very quietly. The first time I heard it I couldn't work it out, but then I spied him warbling 'under his breath'.


And of course there had to be one...

Have you quite finished?

Today:3/10, medium high
Yesterday: 3-4/10, medium

woodland meditation

(Went for a wintry woodland walk over Christmas. Thought would post some photos to share with you.)

Love and faithfulness meet together;

righteousness and peace kiss each other.

Faithfulness springs forth from the earth,

and righteousness looks down from heaven.

Psalm 85: 10-11

Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
Psalm 86:11

My heart is steadfast, O God;
I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Awake harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.

I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, higher than the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Psalm 108: 1-4

Yesterday: 4/10, medium Today: 4/10, medium

beautiful autumn

We've had some lovely sunny autumn days recently...even though today isn't one of them!

Past week: averaging 5/10, medium (occasionally medium low)