the view from Uganda

"Please pray.  The violence is spilling out onto the streets."

This was a text I received last week from a friend of mine who lives in Uganda.

As the headlines have largely been concerned with other things, I emailed her to ask for more details of the situation.  She has given permission for me to post a summary here - although it's quite difficult to summarise all of it, I will pick out some of the main points.

• The current Ugandan president has been in office for the past twenty five years.  A great plan for development and getting rid of corruption and violence has ended up with more of the same.
• Fuel prices are really high - tripling in the space of about 2 months, and this leads to higher food prices because the food needs transporting from rural areas.  Inflation is at about 14%.
• Those in rural areas are starving as they were unprepared by the relevant government departments for drought followed by flash floods. Some families of eight or ten are eating a small sparrow sized bird for dinner - if they can catch it. Pregnant women may only have a meal of termites to last a whole day (about enough to fill a small yoghurt pot).
• The global fund corruption and scandal has meant that the next round of support has been cancelled.  Hospitals are having to cut down on employees and recruiting patients. Only one quarter of people needing ARVs (Antiretroviral drugs ) are getting them. Drugs supplies for those already on ARVs has reduced - those who can't afford them have to go without or try and change medication which entails resistance to the drugs or side effects.
• At the government hospital there are two generators working, hardly any doctors and all medicine has to be paid for. They won't treat you if you don't bring your own gloves - they don't have any.
• Mothers give birth on the floor because there aren't enough beds on the maternity wards.
• Donated drugs that are supposed to be free are taken by health officers and sold at private clinics.
• Despite a 'free for all' education at primary level, because of corruption they have no desks, chairs, reading materials and even meals in most cases. They have gone to introduce 'free' secondary education without dealing with these issues.
• Roads are terrible - full of pot holes.  Every time an election nears they put a thin layer on top for the canvassers to get through - then it wears off again.
• Corrupt government ministers responsible for some of these issues have been in power for many years.
• An inaugural party is being planned by the president as well as the purchase of fighter jets.  He claims not to be able to do anything about the food and fuel prices due to the global economic crisis. Opposition leaders claim otherwise.
• A pressure group was started, supposed to be a peaceful protest, where people walked to work in protest of high fuel and food prices. But the government sent in police and militia (not always easily identifiable) who would get into scuffles with opposition leaders and bundle them off in vans.  Rousing the people's anger, riots have broken out, with tear gas and pepper sprays being used and also shootings - a two year old baby was shot dead and another man shot in the head and the thigh - both in their homes trying to avoid the riots.
• A few days ago Besigye, a leading opposition figure was in his car, which was attacked and he was doused in pepper spray (BBC report here).  Spontaneous rioting broke out all over Kampala.

My friend says "it seems like the rule of the law is dying if not all ready dead".

Please pray for the government to make a concerted effort to improve the situation and bring costs down, diverting money away from unnecessary expenditure and into areas of need.  Pray against the corruption - "I don't know how it can stop if the big fish won't get caught," says my friend, "but also the biting poverty has meant that everywhere someone is trying to make an extra buck which is terrible."  There is a real feeling of hopelessness about this.

My friend has also expressed concern that there is a lot of censoring in the media, the Internet and even on phones.  She says: "We are worried that we may one day not to be able to speak freely about what is happening...we need wisdom about what to say and how to say it."

Video of aftermath of riots here.  In pictures here and here.

This image taken from recent Guardian report.

A Red Cross report from 29th April here.

Disclosure: I am aware that I cannot back up many of these facts 'officially' as I am using a personal source.  I do not claim any authority of my own on the subject.

Half the Church by Carolyn Custis James: book review and giveaway

I was pleased when Zondervan contacted me about participating in a 'blog tour' for a book they were 'very excited about'.  I was even more pleased once I looked it up and saw that it might be something I'd be interested in.

So, what do I think now that I have read the book?

The first thing that struck me about this book was the inclusivity of its style.  Despite being written by an American author from within her own church context, James makes very clear from the beginning that the subtitle of this book is indeed a true reflection of its purpose: recapturing God's global vision for women.  At no point did I feel on the outside looking in.

She emphasises that within our context of freedom and plenty, some questions and discussions we tend to have about women and their roles here in the West are simply not applicable for women in different cultures and environments, lacking our resources and our choices.  But instead of shuffling past them and focusing on 'us' she chooses to take a fuller, more compassionate view, recognising women's importance throughout the world and what we can do to help those who have so much less than we do.  Indeed, the extremes throughout the world put our church debates in sobering perspective.

Part of this book springs out of her own reading of Half the Sky*, a book chronicling some of the horrors experienced by women and girls in today's world.  James constantly refers to some appalling stories of women and girls facing terrible choices -  or more accurately, no choice at all.

I warmed to her as it became clear that she was passionate about the plight of women throughout the world, those without any opportunities, those closed in by poverty and those subjected to abuse.  Her concern was not preoccupied by the insulated West.  One statistic she quoted I could not really get my head round: 

"It appears that more girls have been killed in the last fifty years, precisely because they were girls, than men were killed in all the wars of the twentieth century.  More girls are killed in this routine 'gendercide' in any one decade than people were slaughtered in all the genocides of the twentieth century."

 Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, Half the Sky, as quoted in Half the Church (emphasis mine).

But James' vision is wider than sharing with her readers the awful treatment of some of the world's daughters.  In effect, she contrasts this treatment with what she sees as the biblical picture of women: God's image bearers, equipped to lead by the mandate of Genesis 1.

James makes a lot of reference to the ezer of Genesis 2 - ezer-kenegdo being the phrase often translated a 'suitable helper' when referring to God's purpose in creating woman.   James ties this in with other uses of 'ezer' as a kind of warrior - sometimes used to refer to God himself as shield and helper.  Without a grasp of Hebrew I feel unable to critique this -  but it is certainly an interesting suggestion, and a recurring theme throughout the book.

I loved the way James' focuses on women's primary calling - to love the Lord our God with all our soul, mind, heart and strength.  I also deeply appreciated, that while identifying marriage and motherhood as very important callings, she emphasises that they are not what makes up our identity.  She talked about many women feeling they cannot start living their calling until they are married / have children - and I strongly agree that this is a negative thing we need to shake off  (for men too, I feel).  Our worth is not found in marriage and motherhood, as beautiful as these things are.  There are so many who do not fit that 'template', and I for one have always felt irritated by the common cultural assumption that we are 'incomplete' until we find the 'one' or experience parenthood.   It isolates and excludes a huge amount of people, and makes us feel somehow 'lesser' if we never reach these supposed ideals.

She underlines this further when talking about the 'Blessed Alliance' - which is how she refers to the relationship between man and woman.  And - wonderfully - she is not confining this to marriage but to male-female relationships in general - Christian women working with their brothers, their friends, to show God's image to the world and share the power of the gospel - together.  Is it me, or is so little talked about platonic or familial male-female relationships?

These are the two 'load bearing' pillars of the image bearers - our relationship with God, and the relationships between us.  Within the story of Genesis 3, both of these pillars are broken down - but in Christ they are restored.  This book contains no rants or diatribes, but shows a genuine longing for renewed and loving relationships between the genders.  It talks about the value men and women have as part of the body of Christ - and if half the body is not encouraged to use its gifts, then we are all weakened.  We bless each other by our gifts.  Men and women are not two 'halves' of an image bearer but each is one, and in Trinitarian likeness, one plus one = one.  We are called to that kind of oneness.

James does take a chapter to address what she calls the 'Big Debate' over the role of women in the church, and has some helpful things to say.  She reiterates what I've heard elsewhere - you cannot build an entire theology on disputable texts.  You have to examine what is indisputable  and go from there.  And in this way she looks at some examples of women in the bible and what she feels they tell us about our role as image bearers.  I love the way she avoids getting embroiled in specific issues and instead keeps her focus.

In today's world, we have so much more awareness of what is happening around the globe to those created in God's image.  And, James enthuses, it's our calling to make a difference.

May we be remembered as a generation who caught God's vision, faced our fears, and rose up to serve his cause. - Carolyn Custis James, Half the Church

Much of this book I am still digesting.  Naturally there will be elements people will disagree with - but I think it a very worthwhile read, whatever your viewpoint.  I suspect there will be those who come from different contexts and don't recognise some of the issues she talks about, or have trouble with her frame of reference.  I, however, found it helpful and interesting.

On a personal level, on finishing this book I feel incredibly encouraged - about being a woman.  I've never actually confessed to feeling discouraged, but it is true.  Something about this book drove right through that discouragement, knocked it all to pieces and made me feel differently about myself.   It's given me the courage to step over something I had been deliberately ignoring and find a sudden sense of freedom and purpose.

I hesitate to use the word, because it feels a bit heavy with association and liable to be misconstrued but I feel, in this case, it is worth saying.

I feel empowered by this book.

And the fact I feel able to use that word says something in itself.

*The title 'Half the Sky' is based on the proverb 'Women hold up half the sky'.

***

Giveaway
Yes, Zondervan sent me an extra copy of this book - if you want to be entered for the giveaway please leave a comment on this post telling me why you'd like to have this book.  If it's too hard to choose, I will use a random number generator, but I think it would be great if we shared our thoughts anyway.  Comments must be posted by Wednesday 13th April. Giveaway is now closed - congratulations Red!

I received this book free from Zondervan for the purpose of reviewing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.  You can find a list of other reviews here.

16 days...

Tomorrow marks the beginning of '16 days of activisim against gender violence'. November 25th is International Day Against Violence Against Women, and December 10th is International Human Rights Day, which is, as the website says "in order to symbolically link violence against women and human rights and to emphasize that such violence is a violation of human rights."

This is an issue that has always stabbed at my heart, particularly in the area of sexual violence, which, long term reader will remember, initially spurred my production of 'Fragile World'. We cannot escape the horrors of atrocities committed against, for example, the women of the Congo, appalling stories of mass rape, horrors that we cannot imagine, and frankly, do not want to. And yet, they exist. Can we really be silent in such a world as this?

And gender violence is not just a problem in unstable countries under specific threat of war or terrorism. Domestic violence is everywhere.  According to Rest0red, two women a week in the UK die due to domestic violence incidents. Globally, one in three women will suffer violence at the hands of a male partner. In the UK, it's one in four.

The website for '16 days' can be found here, providing links and resources to help raise awareness of this issue. This is what they say about the campaign:

The 16 Days Campaign has been used as an organizing strategy by individuals and groups around the world to call for the elimination of all forms of violence against women by:

• raising awareness about gender-based violence as a human rights issue at the local, national, regional and international levels
• strengthening local work around violence against women
• establishing a clear link between local and international work to end violence against women
• providing a forum in which organizers can develop and share new and effective strategies
• demonstrating the solidarity of women around the world organizing against violence against women
• creating tools to pressure governments to implement promises made to eliminate violence against women

Let's use our voices; let's not be silent. Spread the word and get active. Change the world.

politics and passion

The other night I had a dream.  Like most of my dreams, most of the specifics and substance fled instantly from my memory.  I was somewhere - was I living there? Possibly.  Possibly I was hosting an event of some kind.  What I do remember is that Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg were all present.  Whatever else, I remember that. Obviously, the upcoming election has gone to my head.

I want to make a difference.  I want to use my voice (and my vote).  I'm trying to gather all the information I can, work out what's important, see through the clutter of competition and know what I think.  So I'm reading all the election supplements and relevant newspaper articles.  I want to know what to do.  I want to know who to vote for.  I want to choose wisely.

It will be interesting watching the debate tonight.  It feels faintly presidential, which doesn't seem to fit with our voting system, but I'm keen to see them, all the same.

Of course, it's not very straightforward. Do you vote for the person or the party? And frankly, which person: Prime Minister or local MP? Is it about what they stand for politically? Or who they are? And what about safe seats, two party races, swing voters and tactical voters?  It's not just a case of saying what (or who) you want. It's about understanding the choice you have in the first place, and what to do about it. In my head the local and the national don't sit easily together (because of the parliamentary system, I suppose), so focussing on these elements separately, can lead to two different outcomes. It's a trifle mind boggling.  It seems to me, the only way to get the passion of the voting public back into politics is to reform the whole system. But it's not going to happen in the next month.

I know some will choose, in the face of this, simply not to vote.  I can't make a difference, they say.  But I am going to vote.  I'll do the best I can at deciding it, pray for guidance, try to be well informed.  But my vote, I've decided, is going to mean more than that.

I'm voting to get involved.

Whoever is running the country in a month's time, I need to act.  I need to stand up for the things I am passionate about, be a voice for the voiceless, call for justice for the powerless.  I want to motivate myself to write letters to my government and my MP, participate in petitions, and, as I've mentioned before on this blog, raise awareness of the things that matter.  The things that are unacceptable in our world today.   

Yes, I still want to change the world.

We stand back and say 'I won't make any difference'. Well, you know what I think about that.  We can all change the world a little.  Just because we can't do a lot, does it mean we shouldn't do something?  But I would also say  that I would rather try and fail than never try at all.  Will I walk away?  Will I refuse to do anything? 

I would rather know that I've tried.

I'm voting to get involved.  Hold me to it.  Being flawed and human I'll get distracted, tired, forgetful, apathetic.  But I don't want to be.  I want to be passionate about the things I care about and I want to carry that passion into all areas of my life.

I'm voting to get involved.

Will you?

***

First image from BBC website, second image from stock.xchng. 3rd imagepart of promotional material for the televised debate.

The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns

 

Richard Stearns is the President of World Vision US. In ‘The Hole in Our Gospel’ he tells his own story of faith and of the journey from being a corporate CEO of a luxury tableware company to President of World Vision. Together with this, and out of it, the book looks at the terrible needs in the world today, the disparity of rich and poor, and what the church is (or not) doing about it.

An excellent balance of personal testimony, world statistics and examining what it means to live a gospel without a hole in it makes for a potentially life changing book. Much of what Stearns says resonates with my own thoughts and growing determination that world-changing is necessary – and indeed expected of those of us who have been given much. Because we have been given much. The difference between a wealthy Western church and a struggling congregation in the developing world is vast – too vast.

Stearns looks at passages which have been dwelling on my heart lately – the parable of the sheep and the goats, the trees bearing good fruit – passages which show us that to be followers of Jesus means to act differently in our world – to actively engage in issues of poverty and injustice. And on the whole, the Western church is failing. (Stearns is particularly addressing American churches in his book, but the principles carry to the rest of us too.)

What kind of world would we have if we acted on the words of Jesus? What kind of life could be given to those in extreme poverty if the Christians of the world decided to give it their all (which is what they’ve always been called to do.) My post yesterday talked about the problems of safe drinking water. Do you realise that we can eliminate this problem if we worked together to do so – if we all lived the whole gospel, in our actions and words and giving? This book provokes a sense of shame – a healthy one. Stearns outlines what is needed for change, and shows that it is within easy reach. And yet we choose not to act. It doesn’t even occur to us we are not doing enough.

We’ve made the Christian gospel about a ‘one ticket to salvation’ faith. And that is a gospel with a gaping hole in it. It is so much bigger, brighter, better, more compassionate, fuller, more intensely-world-changing than we have made it.

We are indeed saved by faith – but we are saved for works. ‘Show me your faith without works!’ said James in his letter (it’s in the New Testament). The two were never meant to be separated. True faith works – works to change the world. Stearns talks about becoming ‘radioactive’ – absorbing gospel ‘radiation’ until that day it all clicks. We can no longer ignore the call to a whole gospel. We go radioactive.

It’s impossible to encapsulate all the information in this book. These are just some of the thoughts that have come out of my reading it.

Read it.

Go radioactive.







I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. 

raiding my heart

Last night I read through an old copy of Fragile World, to remind myself of its purpose and vision (for more details, click here). I reached my goal of £500 at the end of last year, and wanted to start my next project, Out of Darkness (its working title), this year. Out of Darkness is proving in many ways to be more challenging, not least because I am starting it completely from scratch. I did write poems specifically for Fragile World, but many were compiled out of those I had written before.

I wanted Out of Darkness to be not an anthology but a collection of 'poems and prayers for a broken world' - a resource for personal intercession, if you like. I hope to use it to raise money for the abused women of the Congo, perhaps through Tearfund, although I will wait until it has taken more shape to look into this further.

Waiting for inspiration isn't going to work; I have slowly begun to put pen to paper and raid my heart, but it isn't easy. I need to perpetually remind myself of those words that so propelled me in the first place - there is always something you can do.

The following is one of those I wrote especially for Fragile World, coming out of the original grief I experienced on the 'breaking of the walls' of my heart. Dear God, don't let me forget it.

Torn

her tears –
flames in the heart
of God, burning –
she,
wonderfully made
but treated as
disposable,
to be used, and then
used up.
ripped apart,
torn inside and out
splintered like a
shell, under
an iron foot.
violated,
her soul turns to ash.
no more heart music –
they have broken her strings.

(C) Lucy Mills 2008, Fragile World

the need for open eyes

"Mark's done, Luke's begun, and Numbers is, well, just indescribable!"
Such is the subject heading of my email from Community of Readers this week, which sums things up quite nicely. Still keeping up to date, amazingly. Not fazed by Leviticus, handling Numbers - although it does get somewhat repetitive when it lists the exact same thing for each of the twelve tribes (or their representatives!).

While looking at Leviticus 20 some days back, I was particularly struck by verse 4, where it talks from verse 2-5 about those who sacrifice their children to Molech, and the penalty for it (death). But verse 4 for me stood out as it said 'and if the people of the land should ever close their eyes to them, when they give of their offspring to Molech...' (NRSV, italics mine), and do not deliver the penalty for it, they will be cut off from their people and the LORD will 'set his face against them'.

For some reason as I was reading the phrase 'close their eyes' really struck home. Turning a blind eye to such appalling acts results in their God 'setting his face against them' (NIV) and banishment from the chosen people. It is, in essence, a sin of omission. Ignoring the terrible act of others has its own consequences.

Of course, this is Old Covenant law and a specific situation and we need to place it all in context - but the principle stands, and should not be ignored. What do we 'close our eyes' to in today's world? When do we fail to act? What appalling situations do we hear of and yet make no attempt at response? What right do we have to profess ourselves Christ-followers and yet walk by on the other side?

It's not that we don't hear about these things. In our contradictory world we hear of the horrors one moment and are persuaded to buy the latest model-of-whatever the next. We inhabit a society gagged and bound by confusion and mixed messages, mass abuse and mass consumption.

Well might Lily Allen sing in The Fear :
'I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore...'

How many of God’s people today close their eyes to horrors going on around them? How many, intentionally or accidentally, ignore the horrific abuse of human by human? How often do we even really think about it, let alone take any action? Do we sigh, shake our heads, and then feel peckish and go get something out of the fridge to satisfy our appetites?

A kind of paralysis sets in as we cannot imagine how to make any effect, so we lose all movement. And meanwhile the horrors go on: people trafficking – (the modern slavery which is far more widespread than the institutional slavery in the time of Wilberforce), child pornography and abuse, torture, persecution, neglect, violence, rape. The list continues and wraps its blackened ribbon around a hurting world.

What will it take for paralysed people to open their eyes?

Today: 5/10, medium

whomp it!

As a silly present, I gave Andy an inflatable mini mallet for Christmas, called 'Whomp It!' (Trademark of Rocket USA, Inc.,published by Running Press) The first thing he did with it, predictably, was whomp me several times over the head with it. Marketed as the instant solution to any problem, it is supposed to be an outlet for frustration. The perfect gift for a church minister. Maybe.

It got me thinking about things that frustrate me.
These can be quite trivial really, such as: machines that don't work properly, my body not working properly, the absence of a pen when I need one, making meringue, the back gate on a wet day (the wood swells up), slugs eating the garden, and, wait for it, the dreaded cat poo on the lawn and in the flower beds where I have just planted bulbs / seeds / fragile plants.

Argh. All right, I've calmed down now.

But then I started thinking about the bigger picture. If I was able, what would I choose to whomp, if I had a chance? (Whomp - what a word!) Do we get frustrated and distressed enough about the important things?

poverty oppressiondeceit abuse people traffickinggreed disrespect cruelty apathy violence arrogance corruption mockery malice tyranny
These are generalisations, I know. I'm sure we all have our own specific concerns we wish we could subject to the 'Whomp It!' treatment. Any suggestions?

~

O LORD you will hear the desire of the meek,
you will strengthen their heart,
you will incline your ear
to do justice for the orphan and the oppressed
so that those from earth
may strike terror no more.
Psalm 10:17-18

~

two hands

i fumble for truth
about to overbalance
trying to accommodate
myself, and the whole
world.

i fumble for hope
thirsty for righteousness
aware of my own
weakness, and the poverty
of others.

i fumble for direction
blinded by the technicolour:
the red-black of my
weariness, and the vividness
of their pain.

i fumble for you
my life-breath, my heart-strength
the one who will not
let me break, or remain
blind.

the child and the golden coin

Dearie me. Have really felt quite shoddy these last couple of days. Not necessarily all the time, but have had moments of extreme tiredness which have been rather hard to handle. I've wanted to write in here but wanted to be able to just plug in and download rather than having to do tiresome things like typing and staring at the screen. Have some photos I want to post from somewhere we went on Wednesday (oh, yes - that's yesterday - my brain needs checking) but have not got around to uploading them yet.

In answer to Tricia's comment, I haven't heard from World Vision yet although they did say on their website that sometimes it takes a while for them to get through all their emails, which is fair enough. I have to keep checking my spam box as well as my inbox as that's where the one from Tearfund ended up. I use my old email for anything other than personal emails as it was getting loads of spam and I want to keep my new address pristine! Somewhere along the line someone had definitely sold my email address as I get spam in the hundreds each day to that address.

Was thinking sadly today about the vastness of these problems in the world. I need to do a second volume for the women of the Congo, I thought. Then I was reading in a Compassion magazine of abuse of girls in Guatemala and other countries. Then of course there is the enormous problem of people trafficking, and children sold for sex... Isn't it so easy to want close up and shut down? But I won't. I shall start where I feel God has called me. Various things seem to keep cropping up to try and dissuade me. Hmmm. I shall stick out my tongue at them.

You know when you get a magazine or a paper and all the 'junk' mail and advertising falls out? I was holding an advertisement for sofas and home improvements and one from Unicef about children dying from lack of immunisation (which costs 61p per child) in the same hand. Oh, and one offering a special price on a pure gold coin for a gold collectors club. Felt rather sick. £119 for a gold coin - that's a bargain price and you will become a member of the club! 61p to save a child from dying.

It's the obvious question that comes to mind:

How many children could you save with one gold coin?

Yesterday: 4/10, medium -high
Today: 3-4/10, high

the breaking of the walls

~I should perhaps start this entry with a warning that it contains difficult and disturbing subject matter about the rape of women in Darfur. If this is a subject you find personally painful, you may wish to skip this entry.~

Lately I feel like God has been softening my heart towards the world. I don't mean that I am hard hearted, but if we are honest with ourselves, we build up walls around us in order to deal with the horrors we hear of or see on the screen. We don't know how to deal with it, we feel helpless, so some mechanism inside us shuts down our vision and we look away - we walk by on the other side.

The crunch really came on Wednesday when after feeling progressively more and more aware of the pain in this world - sensitised in fact, a leaflet fell out of a magazine about the women of Darfur. It seems God had been preparing my heart for that very moment, for without the walls around my heart it felt as if I had been pierced with a dagger. I read about these women who are raped on their way to collect water or firewood - how they have little choice since if they don't go, their children will have no water; if they send their husbands, they will be killed (if they haven't been already). According to the Women's Commission, about 200 women are raped daily. This is not just one man, but many, taking turns. As I have done further research through various charities, I read about how the Janjaweed sing while they rape the women. I have read testimonies from witnesses about the utterly appalling things done to these women - and when I say women I also mean girls - 11 year olds, gang raped by soldiers.

It's all very well hearing on the news about rape and murder and all kinds of violence, but as I determined to look into this further, the horrific reality of it set in. I have always found rape an appalling subject - I can't watch or read anything which has a rape 'storyline'. Not from any personal experience but simply something I have always had an extremely active aversion to - I cannot tell myself 'this is only fiction' or 'that's only ketchup' as you might with more general gore and violence (not that I cope particularly well with that these days either). Hence when I hear about rape 'in the real' I tend to feel overwhelmed by the horror of it.

But here I collided head on with the horror, meeting it with a rising sense of the need to do something. To no longer avoid looking at it but to recognise it - in this place, in Darfur, where it is rife and the women are so unprotected as they are raped by uniformed soldiers, in front of their families, their mothers, their children. I cannot say why God has put this issue in front of me, only that he has. Frequently I find myself crying over it as I think of these women, and praying fiercely for their protection. God is breaking my heart.

In July 2007, a UN resolution was agreed by the Sudanese government to send a UN/African Union peacekeeping force to protect the civilians of Darfur. But full deployment of this force has been obstructed and delayed, and every day the risks and the violence continue.

I am going to quote a witness cited by Amnesty International - again I shall preface this with a warning that this is a particularly disturbing statement:

'Janjawid militia and government soldiers attacked a primary school for girls, raping the pupils. They were aged between 8 and 13. They were in shock, bleeding, screaming and crying. It was horrific. Because I told people what happened, the authorities arrested me. They said, 'we will show you what rape is'. They beat me severely. At night, three men raped me. The following day the same thing, different men. Torture and rape, every day, torture and rape.' - Halima Basheer, survivor of gang rape and torture in Darfur.

I am aware there is little I can do to protect the women of Darfur. But I am determined to continue researching the subject and find any way I can. In the meantime, I've decided to raise money for them by selling a booklet of my poems - such a small, silly thing, but something that at the moment I can do. Selling is the wrong word, I intend to ask for a donation of £5 per person, in return I will give them the booklet, to do with what they will. I may not be very well but Helen Keller was blind and deaf; William Wilberforce suffered from ill health all his life. There is always something. Do we choose not to do something simply because it is small? Do we let those walls reform around our hearts? Do we look into our own apathy and say NO?'

I shall finish with some words I often remember:

"I am only one; but still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
but still I can do something.
I will not refuse to do something I can do."
- Helen Keller

prayer

In the light of the previous post, I thought I'd use the prayer for Christian Aid week this year:

God of the rushing wind,
sweep through my indifference.

God of the fiery flames,
ignite my compassion.

God of the many voices
open my mouth to speak out against injustice.

That through your Spirit
and my actions
this world may be transformed.

Amen


~

Energy rating: 5/10
Headache: medium - low